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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

2020-08-22: Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

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It is argued by lots of individuals that consuming fast food has led to an unfit way of living which has become more rampant among youths nowadays.
However
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,I agree that
also
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 not doing adequate exercise nor replacing processed foods with healthier choices is a reason for
this
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 growing problem in
the
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society. Not only does regular fitness training keep your
body
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 in shape and maintain a healthy weight,it
also
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 helps a person to build more muscles which enhances faster burning of calories and in turn increases the resting metabolic rate of said individual.
This
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 whole process leads to
a
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healthy heart health in general.
According to
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 statistics, it has been proven that going on regular walks at least 3 times a week prolongs the lifespan of a person by 30%. On days when the weather is not palatable and outdoor exercises can not be performed,going to the gym is another option in order to sustain a good
body
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 weight.
In addition
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, adding more fruits and vegetables to one's diet is highly beneficial to the
body
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 because it provides the necessary nutrients required for normal growth and development. Eating more greens
also
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 helps to protect the
body
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 against free radicals that cause cancer. In conclusion, unhealthy eating habits lead to an unfit lifestyle but
also
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 not doing enough physical training
such
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 as going to the gym regularly and consuming enough vitamins and minerals would keep increasing the menace of obesity in the community.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs. For example, start a new paragraph for each new idea or point to improve clarity.
task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument regarding junk food and lifestyle choices.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your claims, particularly regarding exercise and nutrition-related benefits.
content
You have effectively articulated the importance of exercise and healthy eating habits, which is relevant to the topic.
content
Your conclusion summarizes the main ideas and reinforces your stance on the importance of an active lifestyle and good nutrition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary habits
  • self-control
  • advertising
  • appealing
  • convenience culture
  • fast food
  • obesity rates
  • nutritional education
  • affordability
  • psychological effects
  • well-being
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