Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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With the advancement of technology nowadays, kids tend to have easy access to their smartphones developing a habit of carrying them everywhere at any time of the day. Personally, I view
this
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as a drawback rather than an advantage. Undoubtedly, technology especially smartphones made life a lot easier than it used to be decades ago. People tend to depend on these devices blindly, from navigation and communication to solving homework, basically everything.
As a result
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, children are now too attached to them, as a matter of fact, it is almost impossible to find a kid without a cell phone in hand nowadays. Even in schools, teachers now use phones in various ways, whether to teach or hand out homework or tests causing phones to be accessible to all young people. The rapid development of these metal devices carries a few drawbacks.
For instance
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, the accessibility it comes with causes some sort of addiction in those young individuals' minds, kids can not go a day without using their phones or checking their socials and
this
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,
according to
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an article published in 2019 , resulted in a lot of mental issues and increased the depression rate in young people by 40%. Not only that but
also
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, children's eyesight is deteriorating
due to
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all the harmful light permitted from the screens and how long screentime they have every day. In a nutshell, smartphones can be a blessing in disguise. They, with no hesitation, offer a lot of benefits and life is much easier because of them,
however
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, if not used limitedly they can cause various health problems including mental ones.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could include a relevant statistic or study related to smartphone addiction or mental health issues in children.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on it. Sometimes, the transitions between points could be smoother, helping the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, it would strengthen your argument to reiterate your main points more explicitly and summarize why the negatives outweigh the positives.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion, and the essay presents a balanced view of the issue.
task achievement
You provide valid concerns regarding smartphone usage, such as the impact on mental health and eyesight. This adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The use of linking phrases is effective, aiding the flow of ideas and maintaining reader engagement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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