IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people say newspapers are best source of news but others say that the internet is better. discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate over which method is better to find out and read the latest report.
While
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 one side of
people
Use synonyms
 claim that the Internet is the best way to find tidings, I, in turn, think that newspapers are the best source to read important hearsay.
To begin
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 with, since decades ago crowd always used magazines to find information, as journals and the press have always been the most reliable, before the release the tidings agencies or journalists of every age check the process, to see if there is any unnecessary info,
moreover
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 in journal individuals can avoid misunderstanding. When biweekly journalists write about political accounts or something else before it is printed and released, they are double-checked by the state, and naturally, there will be no fake intelligence there.
Therefore
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 so many
people
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 trust the newspaper. Writing about another type of
people
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 who prefer to use social networks to find out the latest report
also
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 has a beneficial side. Some
people
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 who don’t have enough hours to buy a newspaper, and want to save their moment and read the announcement immediately use the internet to read articles,
due to
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 the fact that person always holds the phone in their hand, and they just open any channel where publish an up-to-date account, without wasting life and money. In conclusion, I can say that all ways to find information are good, but for me, the best one is newspapers with reliable information, owing we can escape being deceived and always can trust printed data.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents both viewpoints well, but it could be clearer by refining the phrase 'the best source to read important hearsay' to something more neutral like 'the better source of information'.
coherence cohesion
Consider enhancing the logical flow between ideas. Use linking phrases to connect your arguments more fluently, making the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of saying 'individuals can avoid misunderstanding', you might want to illustrate how newspapers offer clarity, which helps strengthen your point.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. Providing specific instances of news stories or topics would help to illustrate your points more vividly and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay effectively outlines both perspectives on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well and ties back to the discussion, providing a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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