Todays children are living under more pressure from the society than the children in the past. To what extent do you agree or diagree give your opinion.

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These days, more

children

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live under

pressure

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from

the

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apply

show examples

society compared

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children

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to children

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in the past, mainly due

the

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to the

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rapid development of

technology

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. Do

children

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find it harder to

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apply

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socialize in

this

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era? Some people believe that many

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child

Change to a plural noun

children

show examples

today lack confidence when they surround others.

However

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, I would argue that the negative impacts of

technology

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are

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the key

factor

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factors

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apply

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pressure

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for

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show examples

children

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Technology

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will continue to advance over time, but it brings many negative effects for

children

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Firstly

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technology

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may decline

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Correct article usage

a child

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child

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child's

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social skills, particularly public speaking. In

this

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era, most of

child

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spend their time using

Add an article

a smartphone

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smartphone

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smartphones

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gadget

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gadgets

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, and other devices,

Linking Words

consequently

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consequently,

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Linking Words

this

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apply

show examples

leading them prefer to online communication rather than face-to-face.

Secondly

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negative

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the negative

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impacts of telecommunications, particularly social

medias

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media

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, might affect their mental health. There are many researches that prove that social

medias

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media

show examples

has

bad

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a bad

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impact

for

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show examples

young people,

such

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as speech delay, focus disorder, and mental

disorder

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disorders

show examples

For instance

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, Justin Bieber

who

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apply

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is popular celebrity

that

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who

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start

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started

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hiu

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his

career

from

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show examples

young

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a young

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have mental health issues,

due to

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he gain many information from social

medias

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media

show examples

. Despite these issues, some parents supervise the use of smart devices on their

children

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eventually

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eventually,

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it could be safe for their

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child

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children

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of using

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to use

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gadgets. Certain parents could lead their

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child

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children

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to use

technology

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positively. They usually use smartphones as

education

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educational

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materials to create interactive and fun learning experiences.

For example

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, YouTube

offer

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offers

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a wide range of interactive

education

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educational

show examples

contenct

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content

, like MS.

Rachel

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Rachel's

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Toddler Learning Videos which

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are

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very popular these days.

Additionally

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this

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might help their

children

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to explore more their

interested

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interests

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to improve their abilities,

such

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as digital

skill

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skills

show examples

, particularly creativity through digital tools. In conclusion,

technology

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is the main factor

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for

show examples

children

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who live under

pressure

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This

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brings many negative impacts

for

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show examples

their social skills and health.

Although

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technology

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has some positive effects on education and skills development, smart devices are still a danger for

children

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and increase their

pressure

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nosafinaliaaaWed Apr 23 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that you clearly outline your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread your work to correct grammar and spelling mistakes, which can affect the overall clarity of your essay.

task achievement

You offer some relevant examples, such as the impact of social media on mental health.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both negative and positive aspects of technology, showing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Todays children are living under more pressure from the society than the children in the past. To what extent do you agree or diagree give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of palnts and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.