Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this and how can the problem be managed?
Our changing lifestyles have had a negative impact on our health. Today, many
children
are suffering from chronic obesity
as a result
. In this
essay, I would like to highlight the potential causes
and also
suggest some ways
on
how to tackle Change preposition
apply
this
issue.
There are many causes
behind this
but among them, poor diet and lack of exercise seems
to be the key drivers of the disease. A move to convenience into Change the verb form
seem
food
that are
rich in fat and sugar but low in fibre makes them more prone to be obese. Our bodies can not process Change the verb form
is
these
Change the determiner
this food
food
efficiently, as a
result
the body stores it as fat and in turn, Add the comma(s)
result,
increasing
the body mass index. Wrong verb form
increases
Therefore
, when it is taken in large amount
, it Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
coud
lead to Correct your spelling
could
obesity
. Exercise helps the body to get rid of fat and children
these days are not taking them. This
could be due to
them spending more time at school sitting and being on their devices, as well as
prefering
to be driven to school rather than walking. A combination of both Correct your spelling
preferring
sedentary
lifestyle and Correct article usage
a sedentary
diet
low in nutrition is dangerous for Add an article
a diet
one
's health.
Though there are many ways
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
one
can use to solve this
issue, however
, one
must have a
constant willpower Remove the article
apply
as well as
discipline in order to deal with this
issue. It is difficult to overcome this
because the causes
of these diseases are deep rooted
and complex. Add a hyphen
deep-rooted
However
, one
of the ways
which Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
can help is Correct your spelling
government
fund
Fix the infinitive
to fund
in
programmes that are designed to help these Change preposition
apply
children
and their parents to understand the causes
of obesity
and then
to assist them in whatever ways
to help them reach their goals. In addition
, the goverment
must address those restaurants and shops within which Correct your spelling
government
its
very difficult to obtain nutritious Correct your spelling
it is
food
because they serve only fast food
.
To conclude
, there is no doubt that it is crucial to deal with obesity
among young
people. As it is often caused by poor diet and insufficient exercise, educating
children
and their parents about the importance of both, as well as
ensuring healthy
food
is available to all, will go a long way towards solving this
problem.Submitted by kevinleom12 on
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task achievement
Try to use specific examples to support your points more effectively. This will enhance the depth of your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected. Using linking sentences and cohesive devices can help improve the flow and coherence of your essays.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction and ends with a solid conclusion, maintaining a cohesive structure.
task achievement
You provide a comprehensive range of ideas and suggestions on how to manage childhood obesity, which shows you have a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.