IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that, there are a bunch of problems in my
hostel
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
. I am living in
Hostel
Use synonyms
 A, on the 3rd floor in
room
Use synonyms
 no. 1. I am a student in
final
Correct pronoun usage
my final
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 of B.tech (Mechanical Engineering). Right now, I am staying with the 1st
year
Use synonyms
 students, they are not serious
related to
Verb problem
about
show examples
 their studies and do not sleep on time which thing disturbs my sleep and next-day schedule, my final
year
Use synonyms
 project is going on and I have to wake up early in the morning to meet the deadline of my project. There is
also
Linking Words
 a problem with mess meals
also
Linking Words
, I am
pure
Correct article usage
a pure
show examples
 vegetarian and in
hostel
Use synonyms
 A they
also
Linking Words
sereve
Correct your spelling
serve
 meat on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
baises
Correct your spelling
basis
biases
,
Its
Replace the word
It's
it is
show examples
 hard for me to eat a meal in a mess, I always take my veg meal in my
room
Use synonyms
. Commonly,
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 students preferred accommodation C, which is just next to the Mechanical Engineering block. My request is to shift my
room
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
hostel
Use synonyms
 C.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that mess
also
Linking Words
 provides just veg meals, which is good for me. Hope to hear a positive response from you soon. Yours faithfully Manpreet Singh

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a more detailed description of the issues you are facing to give a clearer picture of your situation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the flow between your sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter follows a proper format with a clear greeting and closing, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
You articulated your needs and preferences for accommodation well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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