It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In our modern society, saving up
money
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for the
future
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is considered extremely crucial for everyone, including the young. From my perspective, I support
this
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argument, and the following essay is going to clarify my point. There are several benefits to having a savings account. First and foremost, saving up
money
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can help people overcome hardships and emergencies.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that there will always be chances that unexpected events may happen in the
future
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, and people cannot always predict or plan for them.
Thus
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, having a considerable amount in their bank accounts may help individuals
to
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maintain their fundamental necessities during hard times.
For example
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, during the recent layoff wave, the unemployed can still manage to afford their basic needs via their savings accounts.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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crucial for the young to save
money
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for their
future
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accommodation. Simply put, with the surging price of real estate in recent years, it is becoming harder for citizens to purchase a house or an apartment for their families. To illustrate
this
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, the price of acquiring a house in Hanoi city has increased three times during the past 5 years, making it nearly impossible to buy a house near the city centre.
Hence
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, it is important for the young to have a budget in reserve for
this
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situation.
Last
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but not least, with the current financial situation, many individuals consider it vital to save
money
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for their children. Simply put, the higher the inflation rate and the grocery prices increase, the harder it is for the young to live off their salaries. So, parents tend to save up
money
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to help their children reduce the financial burden they might have to overcome.
For instance
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, in Vietnam, parents tend to save up
money
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to assist their kids in owning an apartment or paying for their kids’ tuition fees. In conclusion, it is essential for individuals to save
money
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for their
future
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,
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so that they can have the means to overcome adverse situations and reduce the financial burden on their
future
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generations.

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structure
Your introduction is clear and establishes your viewpoint effectively. However, you might consider rephrasing it to make it more engaging and specific to the essay question.
coherence
While your ideas are generally coherent, ensure each paragraph has a clear central argument and that you consistently link ideas within and between paragraphs for smoother transitions.
task achievement
You’ve provided relevant examples to support your points. To strengthen your argument, consider incorporating more diverse examples or addressing potential counterarguments.
content
You have effectively identified and articulated the importance of saving money, providing relevant examples throughout your essay.
structure
Your essay features a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding in understanding your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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