Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, think that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some people assume that mixed-gender
schools
are more efficient at teaching children
properly, while
other individuals find single-gender schools
as a more
preferable option. Even thoughCorrect quantifier usage
apply
,
Remove the comma
apply
seperating
Correct your spelling
separating
children
by gender can remove all of the distractions, they will miss a ton of social skills, which are extremely needed nowadays.
On the one hand, when boys and girls attend separate schools
, they will spend more time focusing on their studies
. This
is because there will not be any opposite gender to be attracted to and to get involved in any affairs. The schooling hours will be fully utilised to learn something rather than being diverted from studies
and spending time with the ones they might have affair
within the Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
school
. For example
, in Nepal, students from St. Mary’s Girls School
showed a
better academic performance than the girls who completed their Correct article usage
apply
school
years at a co-educational institution. However
, I believe that children
attending mixed school
will learn to be more social in the future.
On the other hand
, co-education is more beneficial for children
because they will learn some social skills during their school
years. This
is to say that children
of both genders will be allowed to have combined studies
and will learn how to deal politely with a person of the opposite sex, an important skill which is highly accepted by society. For example
, boys who finished their studies
at co-educational schools
showed more courtesy towards ladies by offering some help when required. For
this
reason, it is better for children
to attend mixed schools
as it helps them to learn essential social skills.
In conclusion, few parents believe that their children
will learn more in single-gender schools
. But they tend to forget that their kids will be socially isolated without a
daily access to the opposite gender.Remove the article
apply
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both views on the topic and offering a clear opinion. However, to enhance your task achievement score, try to develop your argument further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will help make your response even more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve coherence, make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. This will help ensure that your essay reads smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points are supported with examples, but some explanations could be more in-depth. For instance, you could elaborate more on how being in a mixed-gender school improves social skills and why these skills are essential in today's society. Adding more depth to each main point can enhance the overall strength of your argument.
task achievement
Consider addressing some potential rebuttals to your argument. This will not only show a balanced view but will also further demonstrate your critical thinking skills and ability to analyze different perspectives.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion, which is essential for the task response criterion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, helping to frame the essay and make your argument clear.
coherence and cohesion
The use of examples, such as the reference to St. Mary’s Girls School and courteous behavior of boys from co-educational schools, helps to support your main points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?