IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In about 300 words, give examples to support your ideas.

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INTRODUCTION:- Advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Its creativity and ideas are very much unique and innovative and
attracts
Change the verb form
attract
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 the customer, to buy the product. Agree:- In all
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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generation
Add a comma
generation,
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advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 would be more successful because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 creativity
and
Correct word choice
apply
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catche
Correct your spelling
cache
catchy
 words and attractive images.Advertisement is done in all parts of social
medial
Replace the word
media
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 not only to promote food
products
Use synonyms
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 other
products
Use synonyms
. (Eg:maggie,Lase,Casagrand property,motor cycle etc.) When
Ads
Use synonyms
 are shown on the TV public will remember their brands will have more options to explore the
products
Use synonyms
.
Ads
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have disadvantages they may
also
Linking Words
 promote unwated
products
Use synonyms
 to the socitery which is dangerous to the society and
also
Linking Words
 the people. So food
products
Use synonyms
 are harmful to children which should not be sold in the market, inspite of that it would be sold because of the
ads
Use synonyms
.(Eg.Tablets, instant Food
products
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, jam,cool drinks.etc,)The preservatives added to it is very harmful to human body. It may cause heart desease, cancer Etc. Conclusion:-
Ads
Use synonyms
 are useful but lets try to post reality in the
ads
Use synonyms
 rather boosting the product to showcase it as organic.

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task achievement
The introduction could be more structured and clear. It should explicitly state your viewpoint on the topic and outline what your essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized with clear topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your examples and ensure that they are directly relevant to your points. More specific examples related to effective and ineffective advertising would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and spelling issues (e.g., 'catche' should be 'catchy', 'socitery' should be 'society', 'desease' should be 'disease'). Also, consider using varied sentence structures for better readability.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, indicating that advertising is successful at persuading consumers, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You included relevant examples from various types of products which enhances understanding of your viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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