IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

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It is believed that
technology
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 has negatively affected social
relationships
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. To some extent, I agree with
this
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 view, but there are other aspects to take into account. One key reason for prioritizing real-life interaction is that
technology
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 often reduces face-to-face
communication
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.
That is
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 to say, when
people
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 use smartphones or social media excessively, they spend less time engaging in real conversations.
For example
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, technologies
such
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 as messaging apps, online games, and virtual meetings decrease in-person
communication
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 may feel more isolated and disconnected from those around them. If it were not for
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
 of
technology
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,
people
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 would communicate more deeply and meaningfully. Given that, social bonds might weaken
due to
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 a lack of emotional connection.
However
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, another idea against
this
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 is that
technology
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 can
also
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 support social
relationships
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.
In other words
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,
while
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technology
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 reduces physical interaction, it
also
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 allows
people
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 to stay connected across distances.
For instance
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, platforms
such
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 as Facebook, Zoom, and WhatsApp help friends and family keep in touch even if they live far apart.
Consequently
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,
people
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 can maintain
relationships
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 that might
otherwise
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 fade. If it were not for
communication
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technology
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, long-distance
relationships
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 would not be as strong.
Therefore
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,
technology
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also
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 has a positive role in maintaining connections. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
technology
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 can harm face-to-face
relationships
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 by reducing direct
communication
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, it
also
Linking Words
 provides tools to stay connected over long distances.

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. For instance, you might elaborate on how specific technologies have strengthened relationships over a distance or how the reduction of face-to-face communication can lead to misunderstandings.
coherence and cohesion
Consider explicitly addressing the counterarguments in a more structured way to enhance the balance of your argument. This would strengthen your overall response and showcase a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear standpoint and is well-structured, with a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The use of contrasting ideas effectively demonstrates an understanding of the complexities of technology's impact on social relationships.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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