Some believe that zoos are cruel towards the animals and should be closed down. Others, however, consider zoos to be helpful in protecting endangered wild lifes.

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In recent years, animal rights have become a controversial issue for humankind.
While
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some argue that
zoos
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are unethical and should be banned, others believe they offer significant benefits for animal welfare. In my view,
zoos
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are essential for the conservation and protection of wildlife. On the one hand, critics contend that
zoos
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restrict
animals
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' freedom, as they are naturally meant to live in the wild.
Zoos
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, particularly those located in urban areas, often provide limited space, which can significantly compromise the
animals
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’ ability to behave naturally.
This
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unnatural confinement may lead to both physical and psychological harm.
For instance
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,
animals
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kept in small or unsuitable enclosures often develop abnormal
behaviors
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behaviours
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such
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as pacing, self-harm, or repetitive movements.
Nevertheless
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, I argue that
such
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issues can be effectively addressed through strict regulations and improvements in zoo management.
On the other hand
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,
zoos
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offer a safe and controlled environment that protects
animals
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from external threats. Wild
animals
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—especially endangered species—are constantly exposed to dangers
such
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as habitat loss, food scarcity, climate change, and illegal poaching.
In contrast
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,
zoos
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provide consistent care, medical attention, and reliable access to food and water.
Furthermore
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, many
zoos
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contribute to global conservation efforts through breeding programs and educational initiatives, which play a vital role in preserving biodiversity.
Therefore
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, I believe
zoos
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are crucial in safeguarding vulnerable animal populations. In conclusion,
although
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some argue that
zoos
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are unethical
due to
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the restrictions they impose on
animals
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, I firmly believe that, with proper oversight, they serve an important role in animal conservation and protection.

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task achievement
Expand the introduction to include a brief overview of both perspectives more explicitly before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay shows a clear progression of ideas, consider using more varied linking phrases to enhance transitions between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that every point made is directly linked back to the main argument to further strengthen coherence throughout the paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the complexities of the issue.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like abnormal behaviors in confined animals and conservation efforts, effectively supports your points.
coherence and cohesion
The arguments are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a clear main idea related to the overall thesis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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