IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below describes the structure of a home smokery and how it works.

The diagram below describes the structure of a home smokery and how it works.
The diagram illustrates the design of a home smokery and the way it operates.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three main stages, including
:
Punctuation problem
apply
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 collecting fresh air, generating
smoke
Use synonyms
 and smoking out the food. In terms of the structure, the smokery is constructed
by
Change preposition
of
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 two main parts: on the ground and underground.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are two holes
communicate
Correct pronoun usage
that communicate
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 with each other
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
also
Linking Words
 have a lid on top of each one
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a fire
burn
Check wording
apply
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is placed below the second hole.
Finally
Linking Words
, a pipe is installed to connect the space of the second hole with the box
contained
Wrong verb form
containing
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 food
abpve
Correct your spelling
above
 the ground level. When it comes to the operation of
this
Linking Words
 home smokery,
to begin
Linking Words
 with, the lid at the first hole is always opened during the process in order to allow fresh air can get into the storeroom.
This
Linking Words
 air is
then
Linking Words
 used to
remain
Verb problem
keep
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 the fire in the stove
,
Punctuation problem
.
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people
Fix capitalization
People
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 will put the log or dried wood from the lid and cooperate with the fire to create
smoke
Use synonyms
. In the final phase, all the
smoke
Use synonyms
 and heat will flow through a pipe connected
with
Change preposition
to
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 the box to
smoke
Use synonyms
 out the food in there. Eventually, the final product will be collected by opening the box to meet people’s need for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smoked foods.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words smoke with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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