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Band 6.5

Some people argue that sending criminals to prison is the best method of dealing with them. However, others believe that education and job training are better way to help them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #criminals #prison #method #education #job
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Societies have always debated how to best deal with people who commit crimes. Some say that jailing them is the solution
while
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 others claim that giving them education and job training is the best
way
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 forward. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides and provide examples
as well as
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 show why I agree with sending
criminals
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 to prison.
To begin
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 with, some argue that education and job training will resolve the issue.
This
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 will provide different opportunities to individuals so that they can improve their lives and have a new
way
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 to earn money rather than breaking the law.
For example
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, some studies show that
criminals
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 who gained new tools to make money were unlikely to do illegal things.
however
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, the better
way
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 to counter
this
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 problem will be to punish
criminals
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 by going to prison.
this
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way
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 it serves as a caution that crime doesn't pay
while
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 keeping the public safe from the danger that they present to the people.
For instance
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, El Salvador had one of the highest crime rates anywhere in the world so the government decided to put
criminals
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 in jails
this
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 made the country to become the safest state in the world. in conclusion, countries around the globe continue to battle
criminals
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 with different methods. some provide
criminals
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 with new ways to improve their lives
such
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 as education and training with some success.
nevertheless
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, The best
way
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 to deal with
criminals
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 remains to be imprisonment since it would show that crime only leads to bad outcomes and keep the public safe from
criminals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Abdulrahimmohamudali on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and both viewpoints. Your conclusion should summarise the discussion and reiterate your opinion.
Sentence Variety & Linking Words
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to enhance cohesion and coherence.
Balanced Discussion
When discussing both views, ensure equal development of each. This means providing a balanced number of examples and elaboration for both sides.
Proofreading
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical mistakes and typos, such as 'going to prison' instead of 'jails this made.' Proper punctuation and capitalization are crucial.
Use of Examples
Strengthen your arguments with more detailed and specific examples. This will increase the persuasiveness of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Job training
  • Vocational programs
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Criminal justice system
  • Reintegration
  • Correctional facilities
  • Restorative justice
  • Social reformation
  • Penal institution
  • Public safety
  • Community service
  • Criminal behavior
  • Reoffending
  • Support networks
  • Life skills
  • Carceral state
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