It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is no denying the fact that saving
money
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for the future is the most important thing for everyone, especially young people.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that establishing financial plans is better for a secure
life
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, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, financial planning is crucial for individuals.
To begin
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with, setting a wise plan without affecting daily
life
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is the smartest thing people can do
,
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apply
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because it will help them in their difficult days.
In other words
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, individuals may face problems that require a significant amount of
money
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such
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as health problems, sudden car accident that requires buying a new car, and losing their jobs, saving
money
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will help them to get through all these scenarios.
In addition
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, planning financially will support us in many
life
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situations
that
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apply
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include
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including
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paying children’s educational expenses and buying a new house for
parents
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our parents
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.
For example
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, my father started to save
money
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when I was a kid.
This
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money
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helped him to buy a new house for us and build a larger house for his parents after they lost their home for government projects. Another point to consider,
this
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also
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will help the younger generation in their
life
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by allowing them to invest or start a new business at an early age. It is
also
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possible to say that controlling expenses smartly will
asset
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assist
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them
to reach
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in reaching
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financial freedom, which is considered
as
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a
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large achievement
in
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at
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the beginning of their
life
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.
Moreover
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, marriage is a dream for every young person, but it’s hard these days
due to
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higher expenses,
this
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goal can be reached by creating a well-structured financial plan.
For example
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, I established a clothing brand named VITNEN in 2021, which specializes in selling linen shirts and pants. I saved a small amount of
money
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every month until I was able to open
this
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brand, now it’s worth more than 50,000 dollars. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that saving
money
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and having a good plan to invest it will contribute to a bright future.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly articulate both sides of the argument in your introduction to strengthen your thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the transitions between your points to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Consider providing even more specific examples that demonstrate your points, as this will enrich your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is effectively maintained throughout.
task achievement
The real-life examples you included add credibility to your arguments and make your points more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your main arguments, giving your essay a coherent structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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