Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Trending remedies have been surfing the internet lately, convincing
people
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that they can get rid of migraines with a few simple at-home drinks without having to take
medicine
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or pay a visit to see a doctor. Undoubtedly, non-traditional
medicine
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has served a lot of
people
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for ages,
however
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, it has not yet proven any effective change within patients
as a result
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I personally believe that seeking help from professionals is far safer.
Firstly
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, one main reason why patients tend to lean towards non-traditional
medicine
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nowadays is that booking an appointment with a doctor can be rather expensive resulting in inconvenience to some.
This
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not only leads to the sick getting sicker but
also
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higher mortality rates. Even though treatments
such
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as
,
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apply
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herbs and natural
medicine
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may have improved some patient's health, it has not yet shown any evidence to fully cure
people
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. Especially those with serious illnesses
such
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as cancer and terminal infections. These kinds of patients require very delicate kind of care and if not provided by actual doctors they usually face unfortunate events. On another note, from a personal experience, I have used some techniques that are not
medicine
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-related,
for instance
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, heating pads for knee pain. It improves the pain significantly yet it does not fully improve the situation as compared to, taking painkillers; a
medicine
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to relieve the pain.
This
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shows that, yes non-traditional
medicine
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can help in some sense but it is not able to fully replace pharmaceutical medications. In a nutshell, going to a hospital could have its drawbacks financially and
people
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can cure some of their illnesses using other alternatives but I don't believe that
this
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will ever overpower the knowledge of
medicine
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and replace doctors who have dedicated their lives to treating others.

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task achievement
Make sure to present both sides of the argument more clearly, even if you have a personal stance. A balanced view could strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words for better flow between ideas and paragraphs. This helps to guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing your main points succinctly and reiterating your position more assertively. This helps reinforce the argument you've made throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear personal opinion on the topic, which is a strong aspect of your task achievement.
task achievement
You provided personal experience as an example, which adds a relatable element to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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