IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predcition for 2030 and 2040

the graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predcition for 2030 and 2040
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the line graph shows data about the distribution of mankind in four Asian
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 that are living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 has the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 growth percentage during the timeline
while
Linking Words
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
show examples
. Thailand and Malaysia
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 steadily increasing. the most increase in population that moved to cities was in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 with almost 40% growth between 1970 and 2020 with
expectation
Add an article
the expectation
an expectation
show examples
 to reach around 50% in 2040, in the other hand Thailand was the least in
this
Linking Words
 graph with only 10% but it could reach 25% from 2020 and 2040.
Furthermore
Linking Words
Malayasia
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
 in the top of
this
Linking Words
 graph with around 75% and 85%
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 has a steady increase from 12% in 1970
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 50% in 2020 and the
predictions
Fix the agreement mistake
prediction
show examples
 for 2040 is 60%.In
summary
Add a comma
summary,
show examples
 Malaysia has the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 living in cities
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opposite to
that is
Linking Words
Indonesia
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words indonesia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: