Some people think that it’s important to spend money on family celebrations(e.g. weddings, birthdays. But some think expensive celebrations are a waste of money.

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There is a debate over

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

whether spending

money

Use synonyms

is essential

Change preposition

for celebration

show examples

celebration

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrations

show examples

such

Linking Words

as weddings and

birthday

Fix the agreement mistake

birthdays

show examples

. Some argue that luxury celebrations are

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, both have their advantages;

however

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, I personally support

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

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. There are people who believe that the benefits of spending

money

Use synonyms

outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing in

this

Linking Words

is that these events would be memorised for their whole life as

this

Linking Words

type of action gives them an opportunity to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mingle with their whole relatives as they would all be presented at the same spot to enjoy that unique time. In India,

for example

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, different communities come together at a particular time and collect the most wonderful memories that they have spent with their loved ones.

Hence

Linking Words

, time

spends

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

with their relatives is more important than any quantity of

money

Use synonyms

spent.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some think that

this

Linking Words

is just a way to burn

money

Use synonyms

. They harbour

this

Linking Words

opinion because they think that it is a huge amount of cost that they spend on unnecessary events and do not compensate for the work. To be precise

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of wasting

money

Use synonyms

on these occasions, it would be more beneficial for them to make

their

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up their

show examples

mind in a way that they only invite

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

people

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show examples

their parties that will not burden their pockets.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

money

Use synonyms

that they use in anniversaries or any other parties, ought to be quintessential to use for charity or learn any new languages. In conclusion, I believe that both the arguments have their merits,

however

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, I believe that

money

Use synonyms

spends

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

on birthdays or mainly on weddings

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

justified.

This

Linking Words

is because the moment that they have spent

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all together

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

always be with them for their whole life.

makemoneyizzy16Fri Apr 25 2025

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task achievement

Revise the opening statement to clarify your position on the topic more effectively. It is somewhat unclear when you mention supporting the 'negative aspect.'

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to make the structure more coherent.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your points more vividly and avoid repetition. For example, use synonyms for 'money' or 'spending'.

task achievement

In your examples, make sure they are directly linked to your arguments to enhance clarity and strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect of your response.

task achievement

The use of examples, such as the situation in India, provides context and strengthens your argument about the significance of family gatherings.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Some people think that it’s important to spend money on family celebrations(e.g. weddings, birthdays. But some think expensive celebrations are a waste of money.

Your opinion

Banking and their role in our life. Methods of paying.

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every 5 years. What are the advantages and disavantages of doing this?

Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion.

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some think that it is a positive development, whereas others consider it as negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.