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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is argued that adolescence represents a more enjoyable period of
life
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,
while
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 others give importance to adulthood, despite the responsibilities required.
This
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 essay will explain both arguments before giving my own opinion. On the one hand, adolescence is considered the happiest stage of
life
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 because of the lack of significant responsibilities. Adolescents are free from financial burden and vital
life
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 decisions, allowing them to focus on education, sports and social interactions.
Moreover
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, these years of age are composed of strong friendship relationships, which contribute to bringing
happiness
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 in
life
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.
For example
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, teenagers spend most of their time with their friends when they are in school, which can result in huge enjoyment, promoting a strong sense of satisfaction.
On the other hand
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, many individuals believe that
adult
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life
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 brings deeper and more meaningful
happiness
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.
Although
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this
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 age consists of significant stress from financial pressure and career achievements, adults have the independence to make strong decisions for themselves.
In addition
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 to
this
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, if they achieve success in
this
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 stage of
life
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, they become extremely motivated and determined, which strengthens their
overall
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 growth and long-term
happiness
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. The more the
adult
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life
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 is secured, the more
happiness
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 will be seen, resulting in a positive and effective future for adults. In conclusion, I believe that
adult
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life
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 brings more pleasure as individuals work on long-term goals and have the freedom of choosing right options.
Although
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 teenagers experience strong social connections,
adult
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life
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 provides a strong sense of fulfilment;
therefore
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, my opinion is that adulthood has more happy
life
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.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your view, but some ideas are a bit general. Add one more clear and real example to each main paragraph.
task response
For task response, make your opinion stronger and more direct in the conclusion. Say clearly why adult life is happier for you.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is good. To get a higher score, make the link between ideas smoother inside each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are not natural, such as 'these years of age are composed of'. Use simpler links and more natural wording.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, develop each main point a little more. One idea, then explanation, then example is a strong pattern.
task response
For task response, you answered all parts of the question and discussed both views.
task response
For task response, you gave your own opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you used linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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