Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if the wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

belief that professional

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

and

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

should serve the homeland

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

where they got

the

Change the word

their

show examples

education

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

others

opinion

Verb problem

believe

show examples

that it depends on their desire where they like to live. As both sides

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

their own merits — I believe that

freedom

Use synonyms

should be prioritized.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both opposing

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and explain why I agree with the former opinion. On the one hand,

highly-intellectual

Correct your spelling

highly intellectual

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

leaving

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

the

country

Use synonyms

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

scale.

As a result

Linking Words

, it

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

brain-drain

Correct your spelling

brain drain

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

their

country

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon came. Owing to

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, the

country

Use synonyms

’s GDP

getting

Wrong verb form

is being

show examples

impacted in

poor

Change the article

a poor

show examples

way. If these individuals

forced

Add a missing verb

are forced

show examples

to stay in their

hometown

Fix the agreement mistake

hometowns

show examples

, it will unlikely increase the manpower

consequently

Linking Words

increasing the GDP. As we all know the

country

Use synonyms

North Korea is so severely strict about immigration and rules regarding leaving the

country

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will result

Change preposition

show examples

professionals not leaving the

country

Use synonyms

and boosting the growth of their own homeland.

On the other hand

Linking Words

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

freedom

Use synonyms

valuable

Add an article

a valuable

show examples

thing plenty of people aim to achieve. As the individual who worked really hard to get to

higher

Add an article

a higher

the higher

show examples

stage of his or her

life

Use synonyms

, he

desire

Change the verb form

desires

show examples

the

freedom

Use synonyms

of choice where he/she should spend his/her

life

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

the grand exposure to diverse

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

can build up one’s

life

Use synonyms

experience and career.

For instance

Linking Words

, numerous amounts of people immigrate to Silicon Valley to launch their

startup

Fix the agreement mistake

startups

show examples

and make new

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

mass immigration of people to the other

Use synonyms

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

GDP, I believe a sense of

freedom

Use synonyms

can flourish the

life

Use synonyms

individual

Add an article

the individual

an individual

show examples

in numerous ways.

yashlakum22

Apr 25, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

An introduction should clearly outline the main arguments and state your opinion more explicitly.

task achievement

Make sure to clarify your ideas and arguments with more detailed explanations and examples.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the connection between sentences and ideas within paragraphs for better flow.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument and maintained a clear stance in your conclusion.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally relevant to the topic and show an understanding of key issues.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if the wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

What are advantages and disadvantage of use social networking? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation ?