IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that professionals
such
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 as doctors and engineers are very important professions.
While
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 it is a commonly held
belfie
Correct your spelling
belief
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 that they should stay in the same
country
Use synonyms
 where they did their training, there is
also
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 an argument that they should have the freedom to choose where they want to
work
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, some individuals indicate that people like engineers and doctors should
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
country
Use synonyms
 they trained in to benefit them and develop their field there.
In other words
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, they will return the time and the money that the
country
Use synonyms
 invests in them by using their knowledge to enhance the infrastructure of these types of careers.
Moreover
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, outstanding engineers and
doctor’s
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors’
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 achievements will inspire the
young
Correct word choice
younger
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 generations,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 it will help
in increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
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 the awareness of these professions.
For example
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, Elon Musk the owner of Tesla and Space
x
Change the capitalization
X
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, trained and studied in America, he stayed there and reached
a phenomenal achievements
Correct the article-noun agreement
phenomenal achievements
a phenomenal achievement
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 in both electrical cars and
rockets
Change the noun form
rocket
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 fields, and
this
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 had a huge impact on his
country
Use synonyms
 from an economic and scientific point of view.
On the other hand
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, many people argue that experts should have the free will to decide where they
work
Use synonyms
, including the opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
 on a
globe
Replace the word
global
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 scale if
such
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 opportunities arise. It is possible to say that the interaction with more advanced society in their area of expertise will expand their knowledge.
In addition
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, the repetition of their hometown will
enhance
Wrong verb form
be enhanced
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 worldwide by the achievements they will achieve.
For example
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, Doctor Khalid Aljehny was my instructor during my journey
in
Change preposition
at
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 King Abdulaziz University as
aerospace
Correct article usage
an aerospace
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 engineer student, he studied and spent half of his life in the United States
,
Remove the comma
apply
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when
Correct word choice
and when
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 he went back to Saudi Arabia, his
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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contribute
Wrong verb form
contributed
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 significantly to improving the aerospace sector,
also
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 he had a huge impact on the quality of teaching. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that people should have the liberty to decide where they
work
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to improve clarity in your introduction by directly stating your opinion as well as outlining the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use correct possessive forms; for example, 'doctors' vs. 'doctor’s'. Also, check for grammatical accuracy in your examples.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which will help enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and provides closure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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