IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reduce accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both views.

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At the beginning of
this
Linking Words
 discussion, we should consider which
punishments
Use synonyms
 to apply to people,
arresting
Replace the word
arrest
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, fine or what?
This
Linking Words
 is the fact,
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 best way of training
up
Change preposition
apply
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people is punishment. Because, if there is a compulsion
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 make
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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sure to
will
Verb problem
apply
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comply.
Although
Linking Words
 many accidents occur per
a
Correct article usage
apply
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day
a
Correct article usage
the
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 thing about which we are talking is
people'
Change noun form
people's
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 life, the most serious issue. The other matter is how to balance between
fair
Replace the word
fairness
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 and punishment and whether these
punishments
Use synonyms
 will be appropriate to offences or not, because we have to preserve humanism,
additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 wouldn't be reasonable
applying
Change the verb form
to apply
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 heavy
punishments
Use synonyms
 to simple
vialitions
Correct your spelling
violations
variations
. As far as I
Add a missing verb
am concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 there is need a
particular
Change preposition
for particular
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 legislation. If you are driving 100
kilometr
Correct your spelling
kilometre
kilometres
 an hour
on
Correct your spelling
or
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40-kilometr
Correct your spelling
40 kilometres
 an hour
in that case
Add the comma(s)
, in that case,
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 you will be subjected to
heavier
Add an article
a heavier
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 punishment. Moving on
others'
Change preposition
to others'
show examples
 approaches, other measures definitely will not be as effective as
punishments
Use synonyms
, you will not get
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 good
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
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 as you expect. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, driving offences are usual for roads and in my opinion, unless there is a horrible violation in compliance with
Correct article usage
the domectis
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domectis
Correct your spelling
domestic
domestics
 code there wouldn't be a problem. Ultimately, we should define which
punishments
Use synonyms
 will be applied,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 which kind of situations. These must be relevant,
approvable
Correct word choice
and approvable
show examples
 by society.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and logical flow of your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported.
language use
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation; there are several errors that distract from the content of your writing.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more relevant examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have introduced the topic clearly and have made an attempt to cover both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your discussion reflects genuine engagement with the topic, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Strict punishment
  • Driving offences
  • Accidents
  • Deterrent
  • Reckless driving
  • Penalties
  • Fines
  • License suspension
  • Imprisonment
  • Law and order
  • Potential offenders
  • Fear
  • Education
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Mindset
  • Safe driving habits
  • Infrastructure
  • Traffic management systems
  • Licensing procedures
  • Testing procedures
  • Skilled drivers
  • Public transportation
  • Carpooling
  • Vehicles
  • Advanced safety technologies
  • Enhance
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