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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.

In our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, many
people
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 face difficult problems like not having enough money or working in a job they do not like. Some
people
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 think we should just accept these things,
while
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 others believe we must try to change them. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides and give my own view. On the one hand, some
people
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 say that accepting a bad
situation
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 is good for your mind. If you are always complaining about your small salary, you will feel very stressed and unhappy.
For example
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, in many cultures, being patient is a big virtue. If you accept what you have, you can find peace and be happy with your family
instead
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 of always worrying about things you cannot change immediately.
This
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 helps
people
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 to stay calm in a hard world.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 argue that we should try to improve our lives. If nobody tried to change things, the world would never get better.
For instance
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, if a worker is unhappy with their job, they can study new skills in the evening to get a better position. If you just accept a bad
situation
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, you will stay in the same place forever. Most successful
people
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 are those who did not accept their "bad luck" but worked very hard to move forward. In my opinion, I think that trying to improve a
situation
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 is much better than just staying quiet.
While
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 it is good to be patient, we should not be lazy. If we have a problem with money or work, we should make a plan to fix it.
This
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 is how
people
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 grow and become more successful. In conclusion,
although
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 accepting life can bring some peace, I believe that we must always try to improve our
situation
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.
This
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 is the only way to have a better future for ourselves and our children.

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weakness
Add more clear links between ideas to make the flow steady.
weakness
Give one or two strong, real life examples to back up each point.
weakness
In the introduction and conclusion, restate the view clearly in a short line.
tip
Use short, clear sentences. Try to keep one idea per sentence and one idea per paragraph.
strength
The essay follows a clear plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
strength
It shows both sides and has a clear view of the writer.
strength
Linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' help flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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