IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People are divided in their opinion regarding
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
 education is a key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success or not necessarily true. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. On the one hand
university
Use synonyms
 graduates have a chance to acquire more knowledge and skills in specific areas of interest. That leads to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better job prospects and economic contributions. Of course
that
Correct word choice
apply
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choosing
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
educatin
Correct your spelling
education
 will require time and financial investment
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is not always an easy decision. One example,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 careers that are in
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 field like doctors,
nurses
Correct word choice
and nurses
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 are required to attend
University
Use synonyms
 in order to learn and acquire specific skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of different works that are not required to attend
University
Use synonyms
, and they still contribute to society. There are a lot of ways in order to be successful
besides
Linking Words
 having
an
Change the article
a
show examples
University
Use synonyms
 degree.
For instance
Linking Words
, people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 work in their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
,
Correct word choice
or entrepreneur
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entrepreneur
Fix the agreement mistake
entrepreneurs
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, are not required to have
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
 graduation. Some have that knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how to open a company with only
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 school degree. There are very good and talented people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 evolve and become a very successful business person. In my opinion, even though are many
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
financially
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 without going to
University
Use synonyms
, the best way still
acquiring
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
 knowledge and
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 skills is
studying
Change preposition
by studying
show examples
.

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the introduction to make it clearer and more engaging. You might say, 'There is an ongoing debate about whether a university education is essential for success or if it is possible to achieve success through other means.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure you present a balanced view in both body paragraphs. Try to elaborate more on the contrast between the two opinions.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'educatin' which should be 'education'.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion could be stronger. Try to summarize the arguments more clearly and restate your opinion more definitively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points about the necessity of a university education and the potential for success without one.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents clear opinions and maintains a consistent argument throughout, which is important for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
What to do next:
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