IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is argued that government should have to pay the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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costs of running universities, the main reason behind them is to make it free for everyone to study there. I support
this
Linking Words
 statement to
large
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a large
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 extent but there are some drawbacks too. Before commenting on my opinion it is argued with
further
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 explanation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some people think that
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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finance
Replace the word
financial
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 administration
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to pay the cost of the facilities held by
Use synonyms
Add an article
the university
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 in the
country
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, from
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other activities
such
Linking Words
 as sports tournaments. It is a great idea to manage
Add an article
the finance
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finance
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finances
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 of a student to make it more beneficial to handle
there
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their
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 other expenses,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
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 groceries, books and rental houses rather than studying with the burden of
university
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 as it is
very
Rephrase
much
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high
Correct word choice
higher
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Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 the normal college
fees
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. To extend my opinion, I
also
Linking Words
 believe that, many students are not coming to the high level of tuition because of their family backgrounds. They might be coming from
middle class
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middle-class
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family
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families
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, who can not afford the expensive class
fees
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 to pay from
there
Correct your spelling
their
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saving
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savings
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey taken
in
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at
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 the
University
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 of Toronto
conclude
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concluded
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 that 34% of students are not able to pay their
university
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fees
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 as they don't have family support.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, If
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country
Add an article
the country
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have
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has
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 to support the schools in the
country
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, they have to split
there
Correct your spelling
their
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finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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 from
military
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the military
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,
hospital
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hospitals
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 and
from
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apply
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many more sectors, which are more crucial for
economy
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the economy
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 of the
country
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.
In addition
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,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 tax department might have to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 taxes to fulfil
this
Linking Words
 kind of public
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
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 and that will be more competitive for the ruler of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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. In conclusion, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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statement
Fix the agreement mistake
statements
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 have
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own pros and cons, but
government
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the government
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 have to implement the rule of subsidy given to the needed students by verifying
such
Linking Words
 documents
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 family income and household expenses.

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task response
Improve the clarity and focus of your introduction. Clearly state your position on the topic and provide a brief outline of the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph explores a single main idea and that related ideas are grouped together to enhance logical flow. Use linking words or phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Provide stronger concluding remarks to summarize your main arguments and reflect on the significance of your discussion more thoroughly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your viewpoints, such as the survey from the University of Toronto, which strengthened your argument.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates awareness of both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective on a complex issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • equitable education system
  • social mobility
  • talented individuals
  • higher education
  • prioritize
  • sustainable
  • alternative sources of funding
  • partnerships with businesses
What to do next:
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