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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph displays the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 crime in three different districts of Panama City in a
period
Use synonyms
 of nine years from 2010 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the line chart is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime tended to
decrease
Use synonyms
 over the
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 burglary activities went off, car theft and robbery had a slight
decrease
Use synonyms
 and
kept
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 stable throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. Burglaries,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 common way of delinquency, started in 2010 with 3500 incidents. There was an increment of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 activities in 2011, with just under 4000
cases
Use synonyms
. After those, burglaries had a significant
decrease
Use synonyms
 reaching a rate of 1000 in 2015. In 2016 the burglars had increased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1500 and kept stable
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that number
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. Car theft was the second criminal activity with just under 3000
cases
Use synonyms
 in 2010. There was a slight
decrease
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
these activity
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
 in 2013 reaching a rate of 2000. From 2012 to 2015, the activity
kept
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 stable until 2016 when
had
Verb problem
there was
show examples
 an increment of the
cases
Use synonyms
 reaching 2800
cases
Use synonyms
 finishing with
this
Linking Words
 number in 2019. Robberies,
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the crime with the least
cases
Use synonyms
, having a peak in 2012 and 2017 with just under 1000
cases
Use synonyms
 in both years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, decrease, cases with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Crime rates
  • Fluctuated
  • Significant spike
  • Consistent trend
  • Prevalent
  • Cumulative change
  • Enforcement
  • Correlate
  • Reduction/increase in crime
  • Categories of crime
  • Level of crime
  • Period of time
  • Analysis
  • Data representation
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