IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There is a moral necessity today for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries develop in terms of feeding the population, education and healthcare.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have played a significant role in aiding the less privileged nations around the
world
Use synonyms
. The ability to help humanity with basic life necessities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 always been appreciated by all members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since it helped
in building
Wrong verb form
build
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 stronger communities and a better quality of life
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people across the globe.
Although
Linking Words
 there are others that
opposes
Change the verb form
oppose
show examples
 it. In my opinion, I will argue that developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should be responsible
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 providing aid to the less developed
countries
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 around the
world
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, famine and drought have affected many
countries
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 and made it difficult for
sustaining
Verb problem
apply
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people with essential nutrition to strive and grow.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has led to malnutrition and many diseases to
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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,
due to
Linking Words
 lack of food sources to feed the population.
In addition
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, to the poor living
conditions
Add a comma
conditions,
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 many members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society are unable to
access
Use synonyms
 clean water to drink
nor
Correct word choice
or
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 hygiene.
For example
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, the
world
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 health organization have raised its concerns regarding the
on going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
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 living conditions of many children living in Somalia, that if developed nations
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not continue to support them many children are going to die of
stravation
Correct your spelling
starvation
. Another point to consider
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is helping the less privileged
countries
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, to have better
access
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 to
education
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 and healthcare.
This
Linking Words
 will not only benefit the poorer nations in terms of building schools and hospitals
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 help the economy strive by introducing businesses and employment opportunities. It is
also
Linking Words
 viable to say that many
countries
Use synonyms
 in the
world
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 have limited
access
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 to basic and higher forms of
education
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 and
therefore
Linking Words
 supporting them with the means to build the foundation for
education
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 will help generations thrive and develop.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the healthcare system will
also
Linking Words
 be able to get a hold on the pandemic spread of diseases
such
Linking Words
 as
diarreha
Correct your spelling
diarrhoea
 and cholera In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe richer
countries
Use synonyms
 should support the poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 to help them strive through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult life conditions like famine,
drought
Correct word choice
and drought
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
 enable them to have better
access
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
,
good
Correct word choice
and good
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 healthcare that are essential to sustain growth and prevent disease spread.

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task achievement
Clarify the counterargument in your introduction for a more balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve flow.
task achievement
Ensure that specific examples and statistics are well-integrated into your argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the importance of aid from richer countries, providing a strong moral stance.
coherence and cohesion
The argument about education and healthcare is coherent and logically structured, showing good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral obligation
  • global solidarity
  • inequality
  • historical injustices
  • sustainable agricultural practices
  • food security
  • access to quality education
  • empowerment
  • long-term development
  • healthcare assistance
  • global health initiatives
  • international cooperation
  • support systems
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic development
  • humanitarian aid
  • development programs
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