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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is thought that being a competitive person
while
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 studying, working, and in daily life is pivotal,
however
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, others argue that being cooperative is more essential. In my opinion,
one
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 should learn how to cooperate and aid
people
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 is an essential trait that everyone must have. On
one
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 side of the argument, there are
people
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 who hold the opinion that competition encourages individuals to do
one
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's tasks ideally and seriously. When a teacher of a specific subject puts a price to get a high score, the students will be motivated to study hard and effectively.
Consequently
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, they may learn more and finish their study successfully.
In addition
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, nowadays, plenty of
people
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 have a degree in
a
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apply
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technological- related subjects, particularly in developed countries, which has resulted in serious competition
at
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in
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workplace
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the workplace
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. As the extreme consequences, employees compete drastically to get a proper job. Despite the above arguments, I am of the view that students and workers should learn cooperation skills.
One
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 main reason why I take
this
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 position is that in
this
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 globalized world , everyone has to adapt to their environment
therefore
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 the crucial key to
this
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 is having cooperation , compassion and generosity traits. There is no doubt that workplaces need teamwork and perseverance.
Thus
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, learning
such
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 skills is highly important.
Secondly
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, when you are a cooperative person, you can cultivate your communication and have lots of friends,
as a result
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 , you will enjoy faithfully fulfilling your life and your work. In conclusion, despite
this
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 that competition is important to motivate and foster
people
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 to do their duty perfectly, there are many considerable benefits to being a helpful person.

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coherence
Consider better organizing your main points within the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and develop it thoroughly.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to illustrate your points clearly. This will strengthen your argument and provide clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, which is important for setting the stage for your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic from multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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