Some people think that student benefits from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion

#people #student #schools #effect #society

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Studying in private schools is a controversial issue. Some individuals feel that private high school has advantages rather than public faculty. In

this

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essay, first I examine

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essay from both points of view

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I give my own opinion. On one side, some people claim that studying in a private academy has positive value for students.

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is because of some reasons like private universities are well-infrastructured.

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, provide various facilities to children

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as a large playground, game courts for football, table tennis, badminton, basketball and so on, massive libraries, discussion rooms, an auditorium, etcetera.

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, private academies have young and modern staff to teach students with latest techniques of studying like using smart classrooms. Private universities

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focus on child well-being and foster motor skills by providing after-school activities

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as camping.

On the other hand

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, it is undeniable that several negative outcomes arise

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the aforementioned positive side. Some individuals assume that private institutions lack experienced and qualified teachers as public schools always hire teachers based on their qualifications tests

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, private schools recruitments are merely by holding interviews. On top of that, private institutions are not affordable for poor people because of their high tuition fees and charges for extracurricular activities to enhance the skills of students. In

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way, it creates discrimination between poor and rich masses. In conclusion, it is clear from the above discussion that private institutes have more benefits which help children to become more self-esteemed and independent by learning in a vast atmosphere and playing activities which is beneficial for the child to become a great personality.

Submitted by jaskirat959 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction explicitly states both views you are going to discuss. You may consider rephrasing it in a clearer manner so that the reader understands exactly what you will be addressing.

task achievement

When presenting your own opinion in the conclusion, aim to make it slightly more detailed and grounded in the points you have discussed. It will make your response more comprehensive and persuasive.

coherence and cohesion

Work on connecting your main points more fluidly. Some of your transitions feel abrupt and might benefit from smoother connectors to maintain a logical flow.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to better support your arguments. This can make your essay more convincing and relatable.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, showcasing a good structure.

task achievement

Both views are addressed, and the essay reflects a well-rounded discussion before stating your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Good use of linking words and phrases to connect thoughts effectively.

task achievement

The essay includes mentions of specific facilities and modern techniques related to private schools which strengthens your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
resources
personalized attention
qualified
experienced
specialized programs
socioeconomic inequality
disparities
resource allocation
educational segregation
social cohesion
advanced placement courses
International Baccalaureate programs
extracurricular activities

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Some people think that student benefits from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people inly ate local produced food. what extend does the advantage outweigh disadvantage?

Many men and women are making the decisions to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impact of this development on both family and society? Give reasons for your answer and include examples

Nowadays, children have high influence of social media on friends on their lives. Whereas, some people believe that they have higher influence of their parents. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

nowadays many people choose to be self-employed , rather than to work for a company or oraganisation.why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?