Some people think that student benefits from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion
Studying in private schools is a controversial issue. Some individuals feel that private high school has advantages rather than public faculty. In
this
essay, first I examine this
essay from both points of view then
I give my own opinion.
On one side, some people claim that studying in a private academy has positive value for students. This
is because of some reasons like private universities are well-infrastructured. For example
, provide various facilities to children such
as a large playground, game courts for football, table tennis, badminton, basketball and so on, massive libraries, discussion rooms, an auditorium, etcetera. Moreover
, private academies have young and modern staff to teach students with latest techniques of studying like using smart classrooms. Private universities also
focus on child well-being and foster motor skills by providing after-school activities such
as camping.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that several negative outcomes arise along with
the aforementioned positive side. Some individuals assume that private institutions lack experienced and qualified teachers as public schools always hire teachers based on their qualifications tests whereas
, private schools recruitments are merely by holding interviews. On top of that, private institutions are not affordable for poor people because of their high tuition fees and charges for extracurricular activities to enhance the skills of students. In this
way, it creates discrimination between poor and rich masses.
In conclusion, it is clear from the above discussion that private institutes have more benefits which help children to become more self-esteemed and independent by learning in a vast atmosphere and playing activities which is beneficial for the child to become a great personality.Submitted by jaskirat959 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction explicitly states both views you are going to discuss. You may consider rephrasing it in a clearer manner so that the reader understands exactly what you will be addressing.
task achievement
When presenting your own opinion in the conclusion, aim to make it slightly more detailed and grounded in the points you have discussed. It will make your response more comprehensive and persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting your main points more fluidly. Some of your transitions feel abrupt and might benefit from smoother connectors to maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to better support your arguments. This can make your essay more convincing and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, showcasing a good structure.
task achievement
Both views are addressed, and the essay reflects a well-rounded discussion before stating your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of linking words and phrases to connect thoughts effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes mentions of specific facilities and modern techniques related to private schools which strengthens your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!