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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

The world is very different today, and there are many things that have changed, including parenting styles. In the past,
parents
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 focused more on values and simple living, but now, many
parents
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 expect high levels of success from their
children
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.
This
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 essay will examine the reasons behind
this
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pressure
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 and explain whether
this
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 trend is positive or negative. There are several reasons why
parents
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 put strong
pressure
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 on their
children
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 to succeed.
First,
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the job market has become highly competitive, and many
parents
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 believe that success in school is the only way to secure a good future.
Second,
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the influence of social media often makes
parents
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 compare their
children
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 to others who appear successful.
Third,
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some
parents
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 try to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their own failed dreams through their
children
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.
Finally
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,
pressure
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 from society and family members can
also
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 lead
parents
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 to expect more from their
children
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.
This
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pressure
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 can lead to many negative outcomes.
First,
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children
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 may suffer from stress, anxiety, and low self-confidence.
Second,
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they might lose interest in studying or feel they are never good enough.
Third,
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the relationship between
parents
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 and
children
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 may become weaker.
Finally
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,
children
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 may grow up believing that their worth depends only on their achievements, which is harmful to emotional development. In conclusion,
although
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parents
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 often have good intentions, too much
pressure
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 can cause serious harm. Support, balance, and understanding are more effective than high expectations and constant
pressure
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.

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example
Make sure to include specific examples to support your main points. For instance, share a real-life story about a child under pressure.
cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly within paragraphs. Use linking words like 'also' or 'however' to improve flow.
structure
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and purpose of the essay.
analysis
You effectively highlight the negative effects of pressure on children in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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