Some people think that it's a good Idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The line chart
examine
Change the verb form
examines
show examples
the participation of numbers of people for
five
Use synonyms
entertainments in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of Melbourne and Australia over two decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, film club
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
remains
remain
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top activity
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
20
years
Use synonyms
among others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Involving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tennis
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
raised
Verb problem
increased
show examples
dramatically in the
last
Linking Words
decade
while
Linking Words
Amateur dramatics
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped.
The participation
Correct article usage
Participation
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
film
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
started at almost 64 and declined gradually to 60 in 2010.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
activity
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity
is
rised steadly
Correct your spelling
risen steadily
to 66 in 2020. Martial arts is
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
over these 20
years
Use synonyms
between 30 and 40. The number of participants
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
similarly
Linking Words
around 37 in the first and
last
Linking Words
year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Table tennis saw
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the second lowest number in 2000 at almost 17 , and
then
Linking Words
there was a slight increase in the
five
Use synonyms
next year. From 2005 to 2010 ,
this
Linking Words
number was plateaued at 20 and
then
Linking Words
there was a surge, reached at almost 53 in 2020. Whears Amateur dramatics in the
begining hitted
Correct your spelling
beginning hit
25 but after
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
table tennis started to decline
siginficantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 in 2020.
Additionally
Linking Words
, There was no participant in musical performance in the first
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, from 2005 people started to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
and increased till 2020, recorded under 20 in
this
Linking Words
year.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the graph and summarizes the main trends rather than just restating the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and accurate language, particularly to describe trends (e.g., "remained steady" instead of "is rised steadly"). Avoid spelling errors and improve grammar.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs: one for the introduction, one for each main point, and a conclusion summarizing the findings. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
You provided a good overview of the general trends for film club and amateur dramatics as well as specific data points to support your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
The comparisons between different activities, such as table tennis and amateur dramatics, help to illustrate changes over time effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • colleagues
  • socialising
  • work relationships
  • teamwork
  • positive
  • supportive
  • work environment
  • personal relationships
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • stress
  • well-being
  • work-life balance
  • personal time
  • boundaries
  • conflicts
  • burnout
  • professional
  • personal identities
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