IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although more and more people read on the internet newspaper will remain the most important source of news do agree or disagree

In recent years, it has been widely argued that despite the popularity of using electronic devices to read news, some
people
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believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that the
newspaper
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still
Add a missing verb
is still
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 a significant source of news. From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 I wholeheartedly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
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 I will explore the key reasons behind my opinion, before arriving at
considered
Correct article usage
a considered
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 conclusion. On the one hand, reading through the
internet
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 is more convenient and beneficial. To explain, the
internet
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 has access to a lot of
information
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 in
short
Add an article
a short
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 period of time which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it easier and faster to read wherever you are .
In addition
Linking Words
, it contributes to
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 money and effort.
In other words
Linking Words
, buying
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 every day to catch up
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 news,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be costly for some
people
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,
also
Linking Words
 the energy you need to go to buy one.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,
information
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 on the
internet
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 is updated continuously unlike the magazine.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 might be outdated and
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
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 to produce. To clarify, industries and
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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 undergo a lot of
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
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 to create
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that these processes are too expensive they are
also
Linking Words
 harming the environment.
For example
Linking Words
, cutting
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
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 to make
papers
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paper
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, and carbon dioxide
emission
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emissions
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 from these factories
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
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 global warming.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of
information
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 found in
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Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
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newspaper
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newspapers
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 is too limited
in
Change preposition
to
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couple
Change the article
a couple
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 of pages. To add more,
people
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 can not transform
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 with them easily,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to smartphones.
Finally
Linking Words
, some elderly might find it hard to read
due to
Linking Words
 the font size and
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 on the paper.
To sum
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up
Add a comma
up,
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although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 find
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 crucial, it is not the ultimate sources of
information
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 with the
exist
Replace the word
existence
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 of the
internet
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. Because of the consequences of producing paper and the lack of updated
information
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.

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task achievement
Ensure you agree or disagree clearly in your thesis statement and maintain that position throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your paragraphs with more clear topic sentences and linking words to improve the overall flow of ideas.
task achievement
Clarify your examples with more specific details and context, especially regarding the limitations of newspapers and advantages of online news.
task achievement
You provided clear reasons supporting your argument against newspapers.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted environmental concerns related to newspaper production.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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