IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As Earth runs out of natural resources, we have started to look to space for solutions. However, some people argue that this is the wrong thing to do. To what extent do you agree with them? What alternatives might there be to exploiting space for natural resources?

Some argue that outer
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 needs to be conducted as one of
ways
Add an article
the ways
show examples
 to find natural resource replacement
while
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 others believe that it is in the wrong direction. In my opinion, I agree that
this
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 is not still necessary to be done, as
people
Use synonyms
 can find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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alternatives
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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earth. There are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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 exploring the
space
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
journey
Correct article usage
the journey
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 to outer
space
Use synonyms
 needs a huge amount of money which burdens the governments or other entities.
For instance
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, the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 has a body called NASA that needs
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
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 dollars each year to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
Use synonyms
. It will be more advantageous if they allocate it to find other solutions.
Secondly
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, humans need adaptation to survive
to
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
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 or outer
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 or even
an evolutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
evolutions
an evolution
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suchlike
Correct word choice
such as
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 what happened
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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earth
million
Correct article usage
a million
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 years ago.
Moreover
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, transporting many
people
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
Use synonyms
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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other difficulties
Fix the agreement mistake
another difficulty
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since
Change preposition
of
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 the limitation of the fleets.
In addition
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, they have to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outer
space
Use synonyms
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
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such
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 as
meteor
Fix the agreement mistake
meteors
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,
asteroid
Fix the agreement mistake
asteroids
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 and so on.
In
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,
people
Use synonyms
 must find some alternatives
for lacking
Wrong verb form
to the lack
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 of natural resources.
Instead
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 of spending much money to explore outer
space
Use synonyms
, the government or entities can allocate their resources to develop renewable energy.
For example
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, developing solar or hydrogen energy to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 human needs and starting
leaving
Change the verb form
to leave
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 unfriendly resources
such
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 as coal is more acceptable.
Furthermore
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, educating or encouraging
people
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 to be aware
to
Change preposition
of
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 environmental issues and cultivating sustainable lives or habits are more important than preparing
people
Use synonyms
 to live
in
Change preposition
on
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 other planets
such
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 as using adequate electricity for living. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 needs to be done, others say that it causes detrimental effects. I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that
this
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exploration
Use synonyms
 leads to more
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
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 than the benefit. Even though outer
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is needed sometimes
such
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 as for developing communication facilities,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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it must be done with some limitations.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your stance and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps set clear expectations for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences for each paragraph to make clear what the main idea is. This will improve the clarity and flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your points, especially regarding the alternatives to space exploration. This could strengthen your arguments significantly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. This helps in creating a more engaging narrative.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and engage with the topic effectively, showing a solid understanding of the debate.
task achievement
You make valid points about the drawbacks of space exploration and present alternative solutions, which demonstrates critical thinking.
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