IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that life was better in the past when we had less modern technology because things were simpler and less complicated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Certain individuals opine that
life
Use synonyms
today
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 more challenging
due to
Linking Words
 the fact of technology advancements and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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previous years it was easier to exist. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, because certain developments
today
Use synonyms
 were made to simplify our routine
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and increase the comfort of humanity.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the past, people had few
life
Use synonyms
 purposes and used to do the same routine,
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of choices and roads,
hence
Linking Words
, they felt more light and free of duties that
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
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 level of responsibility,
such
Linking Words
 as running a business, or attending universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when humanity had
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 opportunities they were much
stable
Correct quantifier usage
more stable
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 emotionally than they are
today
Use synonyms
, especially youngsters, owing to the increasing level of difficulties in their study programs.
For instance
Linking Words
, the survey among 30 schools in Shymkent in 2023 , conducted that every year since 2012, the number of students who feel anxious because of education increased by 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and the tendency
today
Use synonyms
 continues to rise unstoppably.
However
Linking Words
, at the same time, individuals were unable to get proper education or build their own lives, owing to the lack of economic and political advancements inside countries. Access to these opportunities brought
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience and comfort
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 our lives
today
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can be exemplified by the globalization in
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century, which provided refrigerators, computers and television to numerous countries all around the world, and even if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 without
net
Correct article usage
a net
show examples
 or mobile phones can be expected, the number of once who will agree to live without kitchen facilities is small. In conclusion,
life
Use synonyms
 in the past was effortless and less hard than
today
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 was inconvenient and limited in relation to development opportunities, and the lack of facilities, which
today
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 a crucial part of humanity’s lives.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and use topic sentences to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more balanced arguments and counterarguments to strengthen your perspective.
language use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to elevate the quality of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your position on the topic.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your arguments, showing good engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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