Children are facing more problem nowadays from academy, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what am I should be taken to reduce this pressure?

It is often argued that kids are facing issues

Change preposition

during these

show examples

these period

Change the determiner

this period

these periods

show examples

from

Correct article usage

a socital

show examples

socital

Correct your spelling

social

societal

aspect,

Definitely

Add a comma

Definitely,

show examples

there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a lot of reasons for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the point of view and

clerlfy

Correct your spelling

clearly

clarify

all sides.

Firstly

Linking Words

, many people think that technology

one

Add a missing verb

is one

show examples

the top reason, Leting

toddlres

Correct your spelling

toddlers

toddler

uses

Correct subject-verb agreement

use

show examples

divecies

Correct your spelling

devices

without control and

obsorveing

Correct your spelling

observing

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them more

nervios

Correct your spelling

nervous

Correct word choice

and angrey

show examples

angrey

Correct your spelling

angry

For instance

Linking Words

, We are witnessing today children have chronic diseases

Change preposition

show examples

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age.

Secondly

Linking Words

, The

essentail

Correct your spelling

essential

causes to protect the

world

Change noun form

world's

show examples

youth

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

safe

Replace the word

save

show examples

them from social media,

For example

Linking Words

, Prevent them from spending Ipads all the time, let them meet new

cheldren

Correct your spelling

children

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

enjoy

together

Correct pronoun usage

themselves together

show examples

also

Linking Words

make

sechdule

Correct your spelling

schedule

to arrange

activeties

Correct your spelling

activities

to learn some craft or hoobies to know them self well. In conclusion,

Although

Linking Words

phone Applications are the

bigsset

Correct your spelling

biggest

puneshment

Correct your spelling

punishment

for kids. Keep an

eyes

Correct the article-noun agreement

eye

show examples

on them most important point. To

rising

Wrong verb form

rise

show examples

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

and pure environment free from

pruessures

Correct your spelling

pressures

pressure

nouffahad.gMon Apr 28 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure each point is clearly elaborated and directly related to the question. Ensure that you address all aspects of the prompt in your essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve the clarity of your sentences and ideas. This can be done by refining your language and avoiding grammatical errors that may confuse the reader.

coherence cohesion

Provide a stronger, more defined introduction and conclusion to help frame your essay more effectively. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

task achievement

You have identified some relevant issues that children face today, which is a good starting point for your discussion.

task achievement

Your attempt to discuss causes and solutions shows a clear understanding of the topic and its complexities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

152 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some poeple claim that it is unfair tomhave same age limit in work.Do you agree or disagree?
In workplaces,there is a certain age restriction and when people reach that age,they get a pension and leave their jobs.Some people assert that each work should be given an age limit in order to its difficulty level totally agree with this statement.
8
band
You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter • introduce yourself • ask to leave the flat before the contract finishes •explain why you need to break the contract.
I am writing to inform you about the rental agreement for a flat that is located in Brampton near Bramalea City centre. The house number is 32 and the building name is Sunview Residence.
6
band
Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views
Many people agree that it is crucial to spend a large amount of money on family celebrations, but others believe that it's a waste of money. In my opinion, it's acceptable to spend money on family events if you have the budget for it. However, if you don't have the budget, then you shouldn't do it.
7
band
Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?
The definition of a goal and becoming a pioneer in any country is different from others. Many people suppose that having more production means they have a better area. However, my opinion is totally upside down theirs. This essay will talk about this subject then I will say my idea.
6
band
Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you thnk the advantages outweigh the disavantages?
In the modern era, technological advancements, especially mobile phones, have transformed the way we communicate. However, these inventions have also raised concerns about their potential negative impact on social interactions. I agree that mobile phones have led to a decline in face-to-face interactions, contributing to a sense of isolation among individuals.

Children are facing more problem nowadays from academy, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what am I should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Fully explain your ideas

Some poeple claim that it is unfair tomhave same age limit in work.Do you agree or disagree?

You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter • introduce yourself • ask to leave the flat before the contract finishes •explain why you need to break the contract.

Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you thnk the advantages outweigh the disavantages?