IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is oftenargued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I completely agree with the idea that allowing
such
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people
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 to speak to
teenagers
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 about
theirexperiences
Correct your spelling
their experiences
 is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law. In my opinion,
teenagers
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 are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformed offenders can tell young
people
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 about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like. They can
also
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 dispel any ideas that
teenagers
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 may have about criminals leading glamorous lives.
While
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 adolescents are often indifferent to the guidance given by older
people
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,
Iimagine
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I imagine
 that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex¬offender.The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact. The alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate
teenagers
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 about crime would be much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young
people
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.
This
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 could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young
people
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 are often reluctant to take advice from figures of authority. A second option would be for school teachers to speak to their students about crime, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information about
this
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 topic.
Finally
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, educational films might be informative, but there would be no opportunity for young
people
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 to interact and ask questions. In conclusion, I fully support the view that
people
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 who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter
teenagers
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 from committing crimes.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are well developed with specific examples to further strengthen your arguments, especially in the main points section.
coherence and cohesion
While your overall structure is good, make sure transitions between thoughts and paragraphs are smooth to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your agreement and sets the stage for the discussion, making your position clear from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary is commendable, which contributes to the overall quality of the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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