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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that overconsumption of fast food is contributing to the global obesity epidemic. What problems are associated with this, and what solutions can be implemented

Nowadays, It is an undeniable fact that overconsumption of fast
food
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 has always been a debatable issue. A handful of citizens think that
this
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 issue leads to the world obesity epidemic.
This
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 essay will discuss the obstacles
along with
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 the solutions that how we can overcome the excess of having Chinese dishes. To commence with, There are several problems, that we could face by eating fast
food
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 on a regular basis. The predominant one is
food
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 poisoning. To elaborate, because of unhygienic kitchens where
this
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food
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 is made people often become targets of
this
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 disease.
Also
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, the type of material used
such
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 as oil and veggies are often kept for days sometimes which is completely unhealthy for everyone.
For example
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, the Hindustan Times recently published an article, where it is mentioned that 80% of Indian street shops use cheap oil and veggies which are kept for days before use and that
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 reason for most of the health problems.
On the other hand
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, there are many possible measures to overcome
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, people should start eating hand-made
food
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.
In other words
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, the
food
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 made by ourselves by doing fresh grocery is healthy and full of proteins,vitamins and minerals.
In addition
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, Individuals should need to join fitness centres
such
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 as gyms, which will help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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stay away from fast
food
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 and
they
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apply
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consume a balanced diet.
Thus
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, these are the measures to overcome the problem of fast
food
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.
To conclude
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, there are numerous problems the masses face by eating more fast
food
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 which needs to be avoided and the consumption of homemade
food
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 should be taken, since it helps us to remain fit and provides us balanced diet.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer introduction that outlines the problems and solutions more explicitly. This will help your readers understand the structure of your essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to strengthen the link between ideas in your paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow of your essay, such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'As a result'.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each problem or solution is explored in enough depth. This might involve adding more examples or more detailed explanations to support your points.
task achievement
You have identified some key problems associated with fast food consumption, which is relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing the importance of homemade food.
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