IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think technology has made our lives easier, while others think it has made life complicated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many years ago people lived hard
lives
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 because they did not have
technologies
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 or had just a few.
Technologies
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 have changed
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives
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 forever. The most important question is - has
technology
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 changed our
lives
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 for better or worse? First of all,
technology
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 has made our
lives
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 easier. Nowadays humanity has a lot of good things in their home.
For example
Linking Words
, they use a vacuum cleaner,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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blender, they have television with programs that
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 be recorded or stopped, a stone and so on. All those household items let humans do cleaning,
cooking
Correct word choice
and cooking
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 much quicker than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 used to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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. Second of all,
technology
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not
Add a missing verb
has not
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 only made
lives
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 easier,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 more complicated too. These days everyone has a lot of
technologies
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 in the workplace, home, summerhouses and gardens. It means that everyone needs to think about them more.
For instance
Linking Words
, humans need to remember to turn everything off
otherwise
Linking Words
 the
technology
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 could cause damage, like
burn
Wrong verb form
burning
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 the house if a person
will leave
Wrong verb form
leaves
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 an iron on.
Overall
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, with everything people always have two views but I would agree with the view that
technology
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 more helps us than makes it worse. I think
this
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 because we can do a lot of work faster and with less effort. It means that it saves us more time to do other things like spend more quality time with family or friends.
Also
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 to read a book or go to a gym or for a walk
while
Linking Words
 many years ago people were
more
Rephrase
too
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 tired to do any of the activities. So definitely I would prefer to have
technologies
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 than not to have them.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This could help guide the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could elaborate on how technology has specifically improved daily tasks or changed social interactions.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed rather than just stating your preference. This will strengthen your overall argument.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by looking at both views, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
task achievement
Your points about the advantages and disadvantages of technology are relevant and thoughtful, providing a good basis for discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • simplify
  • enhance
  • automation
  • telemedicine
  • connectivity
  • overwhelm
  • information overload
  • superficial
  • decision-making
  • stress
  • frustration
  • efficiency
  • advanced technology
  • smart devices
  • relationships
  • health outcomes
  • convenience
  • isolation
What to do next:
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