IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently bought a product from a store, but it does not work properly. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: •Explain what you bought and when •Describe the problem •Ask for a solution (refund/replacement) 👉 Target: 150–180 words 👉 Type: Formal Letter

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the malfunction of the recently bought Ninja air fryer about 10 days ago from your store.
Last
Linking Words
 Sunday, when the eastern Monday’s discounts were available at exactly 20% discount with a final price of 180, including tax, I bought
this
Linking Words
 air fryer, black in colour, with dual compartments and frying ability to 380 degrees to cook a variety of food items like hashbrowns, chicken, vegetables, and many more. It worked quite well for the first few days;
however
Linking Words
, it started showing issues with timing as it stopped working before the selected time, leaving the food raw. Despite following proper instructions, it is surprising to find the malfunctioning of a reputed brand’s product. Being a loyal customer of the store, I expect my issue to be solved at the earliest convenience, either as a replacement or a proper repair, whichever is appropriate. I possess the original receipt from the store to ensure a smooth procedure to resolve the issue. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Gurjeet Kaur

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the task, but your ask is not fully clear. Say clearly: 'I would like a replacement' or 'I would like a full refund.'
task response
Task response: Some details are too long, like the sale and food list. Use that space to make the main problem more clear.
task response
Task response: The problem is clear, but you can add one more detail, like how many times it stopped early.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: One long sentence in the second part is hard to follow. Break it into two shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas link well with words like 'however' and 'despite', but use simple links more often, like 'first', 'also', and 'so'.
task response
Task response: You explain what you bought and when you bought it.
task response
Task response: You describe the main problem clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter uses the right formal opening and closing.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each part of the letter has one main job, so it is easy to follow.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: