In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

It is argued that work satisfaction is less important than a high salary.
This
essay totally disagrees with
this
statement because enjoying one's
job
is essential for personal happiness, and is crucial for long-term career fulfillment. To commence with,
job
satisfaction is a crucial aspect of living a life free from depression. Some people chase high salaries without realizing that
this
pursuit can lead to more problems than they anticipate.
For example
, my older sister works at a bank and believes that working harder would enable her to buy a car easily.
While
she did purchase the car, she now hates going to work because she realizes she doesn't enjoy her
job
and is only there to earn more money.
Furthermore
, improving your career position is easier with a good connection to your
job
.
It is clear that
human will act and do tasks better if they do a pleasant
job
and do their best. I am an example of
this
myself. When I was working as a waiter, I really did not want to go to
this
building, with a lot of people who were shouting at me and ordering me to do something and every evening I begging to god to come on holiday as quickly as possible.
Then
I went to work as a seller not paying attention that there was way less salary, but I didn't feel that pressure and depression and after a few years opened my first minimarket. In conclusion, earning a lot of money is less important than
job
fulfilment because it leads to a stressful mind and doesn't allow people to go straight on their career stairs.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This will help create a smoother flow of information.
task response
While the task response is generally strong, you could further strengthen your argument by addressing potential counterarguments. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively setting up the argument and summarizing the essay's main points.
task response
The essay has a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, thoroughly addressing the importance of job satisfaction over a high salary.
task response
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, making the argument more convincing.

Your opinion

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