Some sports are extremely dangerous, but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in participation in extreme

sports

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This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the main motivations behind these

activities

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and propose effective solutions to mitigate

this

Linking Words

issue. One significant reason for individuals to participate in these

activities

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is the exhilaration they get. Whether it is bungee jumping, sky diving or motorbiking, people often receive a sense of fulfilment after participating in these

activities

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. For some people, it is the biggest achievement of their lives.

Apart from

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this

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, the allure of fame and financial gain is another driving force behind extreme

sports

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. People want to set a record and want to be popular in the media and in public to get their names registered in the Guinness World Records.

Consequently

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this

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newfound fame can open doors to lucrative opportunities by providing product endorsements and employment offers in different fields. To mitigate the risks associated with extreme

sports

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, several steps can be implemented.

Firstly

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, the government should establish safety guidelines by setting the minimum age and fitness required to participate in these

activities

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Apart from

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this

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, the government should make it mandatory to obtain a license to perform extreme

sports

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. The participants need to make sure they are getting training from a qualified trainer, and that they are following the safety practices. Participants must research before undertaking any of these kinds of

sports

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, by knowing about the risks involved. In conclusion, the appeal of participation in extreme

sports

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stems from the allure of fame and a sense of fulfilment has led to an increase in risk and loss of life.

However

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, by implementing the above-mentioned solutions it is possible to mitigate the issue.

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points, particularly in the main body sections. This will enhance your argument and make it more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow between ideas in different paragraphs. Using linking words more explicitly could help connect your ideas better.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly define what you mean by 'mitigate this issue' in your introduction to align it more closely with the solutions you propose.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines what the essay will cover, which sets a clear expectation for the reader.

task achievement

You have identified key motivations for participating in extreme sports, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some sports are extremely dangerous, but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

One of your friends ask you to be a partner in his new business. write a letter to reply him: - give your opinion about your friend's business idea - tell him weather or not you have decided to accept his offer - and explain your reason for this decision

ome parents believe that learning maths at school is redundant and should not be taught. while others believe that it should remain a foundation subject. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing excercise classes. what are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negetive development?