Some sports are extremely dangerous, but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

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In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in participation in extreme
sports
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.
This
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essay will discuss the main motivations behind these
activities
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and propose effective solutions to mitigate
this
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issue. One significant reason for individuals to participate in these
activities
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is the exhilaration they get. Whether it is bungee jumping, sky diving or motorbiking, people often receive a sense of fulfilment after participating in these
activities
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. For some people, it is the biggest achievement of their lives.
Apart from
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this
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, the allure of fame and financial gain is another driving force behind extreme
sports
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. People want to set a record and want to be popular in the media and in public to get their names registered in the Guinness World Records.
Consequently
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,
this
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newfound fame can open doors to lucrative opportunities by providing product endorsements and employment offers in different fields. To mitigate the risks associated with extreme
sports
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, several steps can be implemented.
Firstly
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, the government should establish safety guidelines by setting the minimum age and fitness required to participate in these
activities
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.
Apart from
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this
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, the government should make it mandatory to obtain a license to perform extreme
sports
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. The participants need to make sure they are getting training from a qualified trainer, and that they are following the safety practices. Participants must research before undertaking any of these kinds of
sports
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, by knowing about the risks involved. In conclusion, the appeal of participation in extreme
sports
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stems from the allure of fame and a sense of fulfilment has led to an increase in risk and loss of life.
However
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, by implementing the above-mentioned solutions it is possible to mitigate the issue.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points, particularly in the main body sections. This will enhance your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between ideas in different paragraphs. Using linking words more explicitly could help connect your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly define what you mean by 'mitigate this issue' in your introduction to align it more closely with the solutions you propose.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines what the essay will cover, which sets a clear expectation for the reader.
task achievement
You have identified key motivations for participating in extreme sports, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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