These days, many people rely on traditional medicine instead of visiting doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a significant number of individuals depend on natural healing
methods
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instead
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of seeking medical professionals. In my opinion, I think
this
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is a positive development because of its cultural significance and fewer
side
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effects
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.
Firstly
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, the application of traditional
medicine
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can preserve cultural significance.
That is
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to say, many communities value natural healing as part of their heritage.
For example
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, China has traditional medical techniques that have a history spanning thousands of years, which not only help
people
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treat diseases but
also
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serve as a spiritual symbol for the Chinese
people
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.
As a result
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, the Chinese can preserve their culture for future generations, and
this
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tradition is
also
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widely
practiced
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practised
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by other groups,
such
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as Indians and Malays.
Therefore
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, traditional
medicine
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plays a vital role in
people
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's daily lives. It not only benefits individuals' physical health but
also
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preserves cultural identity and connects
people
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to their ancestral roots.
Secondly
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, another advantage of natural healing
methods
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is fewer
side
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effects
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.
In other words
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, natural remedies may have milder reactions compared to pharmaceutical drugs.
For instance
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, some Western medicines have very significant
side
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effects
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, which can make
people
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gain weight rapidly or cause serious negative emotions.
In contrast
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, traditional Chinese
medicine
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is milder and has fewer
side
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effects
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.
Although
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traditional
medicine
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takes effect slowly, it has fewer
side
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effects
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and is more beneficial to human health in the long term.
Hence
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, compared to Western medicines, natural healing
methods
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are safer and cause fewer
side
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effects
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, making them a more appealing option for many individuals.
To sum up
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, I once again reaffirm my position that using natural healing
methods
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has more positive impacts than seeking medical professionals.

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Task Achievement
Expand your introduction to give a brief overview of both perspectives on traditional medicine versus modern medicine before stating your opinion. This will provide a more balanced view and stronger context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea of the paragraph, which can help improve logical flow.
Task Achievement
Consider including a counterargument or acknowledgment of the potential drawbacks of traditional medicine to enhance your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Content
Your essay effectively highlights the cultural significance of traditional medicine and its appeal due to fewer side effects. This demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
Examples
You have provided strong examples that enhance your argument, such as referencing Chinese and Indian traditions, which adds depth to your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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