Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some consider that young generations
are
Verb problem
find it
show examples
necessary to find a volunteering job for their personal skills.
This
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situation has two sides which I will debate in the essay below. On the one hand, volunteer jobs have some benefits for youngsters which are responsibility with the community and basic skill improvement can be mentioned as two outstanding merits of unpaid work assisting the resident.
To begin
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with,
people
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who volunteer can actively participate in local activities or call for charity donations for mountain students which can support them to grow up in the future.
Secondly
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, when helping
people
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in society will help increase communication,
people
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can handle many situations.
Such
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as, when students fight, you will point out your faults and help
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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realize the error and say sorry
each
Change preposition
to each
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other
On the other hand
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, we can not neglect the drawbacks which are limited to negative effects on their academic level. If students enjoy working to help
people
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in the community, they will forget their studies. Their parents will feel
this
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does not help improve their learning ability
moreover
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, it decreases study. They believe that their children will not have a long time for making school assignments or studying for their lessons especially if they have final exams.
Also
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, helping other
people
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in the social, student emotional burnout and compassion fatigue.Constantly dealing with others' problems can lead to emotional exhaustion.
This
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is especially true in situations involving trauma, suffering, or chronic need. Compassion fatigue can diminish empathy and make it difficult to maintain healthy boundaries.
To conclude
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, letting juveniles work in main sectors without rewarding them has certain pros relating to improving skills and helping their folk.

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task achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly answers the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to indicate what that paragraph will discuss.
task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are relevant and explicitly support the points made in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases to create smoother connections between ideas, enhancing the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of volunteering demonstrates an understanding of the task.
task achievement
The discussion about emotional burnout is a relevant and insightful point that adds depth to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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