IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rising trend of studying abroad is resulting in a brain drain from developing countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

The trend of studying abroad
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 rising in recent years.
This
Linking Words
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
brain
Use synonyms
drain
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developing
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has both positive and negative
Use synonyms
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to evaluate these impacts In my opinion, studying abroad can be an impressive experience for students. Living and studying abroad open the doors to new habits for young
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 experience supports their vision positively. When
people
Use synonyms
 meet new cultures, they can expand their viewpoint about the world. As we know, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have high-quality education systems,
therefore
Linking Words
delevopled
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
Use synonyms
 contribute to well-educated individuals for young
people
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, these
countries
Use synonyms
 provide a lot of job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 after education. In
this
Linking Words
 context, we can say that studying abroad has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 students.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when we evaluate regarding to governments and
countries
Use synonyms
, the
brain
Use synonyms
drain
Use synonyms
 has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on
delevoping
Correct your spelling
developing
countries
Use synonyms
. Because these
countries
Use synonyms
 need to well-educated individuals
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 achieve
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 of developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some developing
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot provide high-quality education, good life
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 and
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
 business
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 they lost and
push
Wrong verb form
pushed
show examples
 to
migration
Replace the word
migrate
show examples
 their young population.
Espacially
Correct your spelling
Especially
 university students have a significant
impact
Use synonyms
 on their own home
countiries
Correct your spelling
countries
 and governments.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, developed
countries
Use synonyms
 are guest
countries
Use synonyms
. They usually have
elderly
Correct article usage
an elderly
show examples
 population and need
well- educated
Correct your spelling
well-educated
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 for agriculture, workforce, improvement
economi
Correct your spelling
economy
economics
economic
 etc.
Therefore
Linking Words
brain
Use synonyms
drain
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to an increase in production capacity. It would not be wrong to say that
brain
Use synonyms
drain
Use synonyms
 has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on the guest
countries
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
 of studying abroad is resulting in a
brain
Use synonyms
drain
Use synonyms
 from developing
countries
Use synonyms
 to developed
countries
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on young
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 and
workforce
Add an article
a workforce
the workforce
show examples
 of guest
countries
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on house
countries
Use synonyms
 because of
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 well-educated population and production capacity.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific countries that are experiencing brain drain and the professions that are most affected.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You can use linking words or phrases to improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Some minor errors can distract from your message, like 'delevopled' instead of 'developed' and 'countiries' instead of 'countries'.
task achievement
You clearly stated both positive and negative impacts of studying abroad, which shows a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for a well-organized response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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