Many people do not get enough exercise. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be offered?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society, many
people
Use synonyms
lack physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss the main problems caused by lack of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
and offer some measures to deal with
this
Linking Words
problem effectively. Lack of physical activities
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to various health problems. Currently,
people
Use synonyms
tend to have sedentary jobs which means they have to stay in the office for over eight hours. In
this
Linking Words
situation, it is difficult for them to have adequate time for
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, technology has improved individuals’ lives. Many household works can be finished by robots or machines.
As a result
Linking Words
, lacking physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
may lead to severe consequences
such
Linking Words
as heart disease and obesity.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are becoming more and more lazy than before which might hurt their body health. There are many actions
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be taken to tackle
this
Linking Words
issue. The viable
measures
Fix the agreement mistake
measure
show examples
of governments is to raise the taxes on unhealthy foods and vehicles. In
this
Linking Words
way, citizens might change their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and become healthier.
For example
Linking Words
, when fossil fuels are expensive,
people
Use synonyms
might avoid using private vehicles.
Moreover
Linking Words
, governments can
also
Linking Words
subside
Verb problem
subsidise
show examples
the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
industry and
promote
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
residents to access some facilities like gyms or stadiums.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are willing to do more exercises in their daily lives.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments can address
this
Linking Words
issue responsibly.
Also
Linking Words
,
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
overall
Linking Words
well-being in the societies. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
having a sedentary job is increasingly common in our communities, we should focus on the negative
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
and try hard to solve
this
Linking Words
issue.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What works well

2
structure

The introduction clearly outlines the essay's focus, effectively setting the stage for the discussion.

content

You have identified relevant problems and solutions, which reflects a good understanding of the topic and shows critical thinking.

Improvement Suggestions

3
specific examples

Consider providing more specific examples to enhance the clarity of your arguments. For instance, instead of stating 'unhealthy foods', specify what types of foods you're referring to, and how they contribute to the issues discussed.

grammar

Make sure to maintain a consistent tense throughout your essay to enhance fluency and readability. This will help your essay feel more polished and coherent.

structure

Your conclusion should summarize the key points more explicitly rather than just restating the problem. This will reinforce your argument and give your essay a stronger finish.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exercise regimen
  • personal goals
  • individual pace
  • convenience
  • motivation
  • peer pressure
  • structured classes
  • social dynamics
  • accountability
  • external motivation
  • self-discipline
  • peer support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: