Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be baned. Agree or disagree?!

Action
sports
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are exited, hazardous, and crucially rely on personal
uniqness
Correct your spelling
uniqueness
,how you express yourself and
facing
Wrong verb form
face
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the challenges , no matter your level, in these
sports
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that is
Linking Words
key.
Nevertheless
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, some people believe that they are more harmful and
administrations
Correct word choice
that administrations
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should restrict them. It seems to me that it's a Polish perspective, and I completely disagree with that.
However
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, action
sports
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have inherent
risks
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. Most contemporary generation is
fan
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a fan
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of them because they have more
exhilaration
Replace the word
exhilarating
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moments. If advantage
sports
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are restricted, in fact, we shrug off fon of
current
Add an article
the current
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generation. It seems to me that with planning measures ,we can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
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the amount of
risks
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,
for example
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, using protection tools and crucially, training before participating in them. In
this
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way, we decrease hazards and parents' nerves about high-risk
sports
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.
On the other hand
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, mainstream
sports
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also
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have
risks
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, and would we ban everything because of their
risks
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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In fact, we limit ourselves to a safe world that deprives us of experiencing new things.
Moreover
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,
human
Correct article usage
the human
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inherent  is curious, and when curious sense is limited, we are faced with mental issues,
for instance
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,
reducing
Change preposition
as reduced
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confidence, depression and stress. In conclusion,
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nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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high-risk
sports
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have
risks
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. We shouldn't ban them and crucially
planning
Wrong verb form
plan
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measures to diminish their
risks
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we will have a more vibrant society with freedom in apt environments.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main points, especially when discussing the benefits of extreme sports and how risks can be mitigated. This will strengthen your argument and provide clearer ideas for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your main argument. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to improve clarity. For example, the phrase 'we shrug off fon of current generation' could be clearer. Consider revising to 'we disregard the interests of the current generation.'
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and takes a strong position against banning extreme sports, which is commendable.
task achievement
You've done well to consider both sides of the argument, showing awareness of the complexities involved in discussing extreme sports.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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