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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The four pie graphs illustrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about three primary sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 used to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
 between 2003 and 2008 in four different nations.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the main source of
electricity
Use synonyms
 was
hydro
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 in Sweden,
Vietnam
Use synonyms
, and
Morocco
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 India used more fossil fuels to process
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 was not used in
Morocco
Use synonyms
 and
Vietnam
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in the period of 5 years, in India, more than 3 quarters of raw energies were fossil fuels and 14% was
hydro
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, only 4% of nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 was used to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, half of the electric
power
Use synonyms
 (52%) was manufactured with
hydro
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 and the proportion of nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 was less by 8% (44%)
also
Linking Words
 4% of fuels were transformed into electric
power
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, from 2003 to 2008, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 was not popular in
Morocco
Use synonyms
 and
Vietnam
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the use of
Use synonyms
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
 to invent
electricity
Use synonyms
 was 44% in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and 95% in
Morocco
Use synonyms
 which used the highest amount of
hydro
Use synonyms
 source in a
half decade
Add a hyphen
half-decade
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
Morocco
Use synonyms
, more than 2 quarters of fuel
energy
Use synonyms
 was used to manufacture
electricity
Use synonyms
 and only 5% in
Vietnam
Use synonyms

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, electricity, hydro, vietnam, morocco, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity generation
  • Energy sources
  • Coal-powered
  • Natural gas
  • Nuclear energy
  • Hydroelectric power
  • Renewable resources
  • Energy mix
  • Clean energy
  • Sustainable practices
  • Trend analysis
  • Environmental impact
  • Energy transition
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Energy reliance
  • Energy portfolio
  • Year-over-year comparison
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