IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Many people believe that having a university degree is considerably essential to better employment prospects,
however
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, others argue that having social skills and experiences is more pivotal.
This
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 essay will examine both viewpoints and present my perspective. On one side of the argument, those who are in favour of graduating from universities point out that students with a higher qualification may find a
job
Use synonyms
 easily and ,indeed, with a higher salary. Recently, technology has been used in many sectors at unprecedented rates, which means many employers need proficient experts who have knowledge and skills in technological-related fields . Many familiar firms
such
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 as Microsoft and Tessla employ expert individuals with a potential degree.
On the other hand
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, there are others who object to the above and claim that people with soft skills and work experience are the main requirements of companies. The first compelling reason for
this
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 is work workplaces need teams to do their tasks together.
In other words
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, Some responsibilities at employment are really challenging to do alone and co-workers should take part in
this
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 in order to finish it in a limited time.
For instance
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 , Facebook company
while
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 developing a new idea , need some programmers to write codes and others to do marketing.
Furthermore
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, there is no doubt that many institutions ask for
job
Use synonyms
 experience when they hire people.
Consequently
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, Many students when studying at universities attend an internship so as to find a
job
Use synonyms
 in the future. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having a degree can gain many benefits for graduates in terms of
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities and higher salaries.
However
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, it is recommended that schools' curriculum should contain how students communicate and work in a group properly

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coherence and cohesion
Improve word choice and sentence structure for clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support each argument.
task achievement
Ensure all claims are directly supported by relevant examples or explanations to enhance understanding.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
argumentation
Both sides of the argument are considered, showing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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