It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

The opinion
whether
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of whether
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human
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humans
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should prevent a natural process that animal
species
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become extinct has sparked heated discussion in recent years.
While
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some
people
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argue that there is no reason for
people
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to prevent
from
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this from
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happening, I believe that
people
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should take
actions
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action
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to preserve endangered
species
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because we cause a lot of environmental issues. First of all, in my opinion,
human
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humans
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should have
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a responsibilities
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responsibilities
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responsibility
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to save
animal
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animals
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because we
sometime
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sometimes
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prioritize our needs and
consequently
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destroy natural habitats. The innovation of technology and rapid urbanization by
human
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humans
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severely causes the threat for
mutiple
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multiple
animals
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because some environmental issues
such
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as a tree reduction and
a
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an
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increase in sea-level happened. Even though
the
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apply
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city development and urbanization are important aspects
to make
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of making
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our
life
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lives
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convenient, cities should be designed not only for our
convenienve
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convenience
,
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apply
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but
also
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other
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for other
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creatures'
demand
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demands
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.
This
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balance is important to build harmony between
human-being
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human beings
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and
animals
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.
Moreover
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, in fact, human
behavior
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behaviour
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has already affected the extinction of some
species
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.
For instance
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, the problem of exotic
species
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has
been
Verb problem
become
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more serious in recent years. Some
people
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brought
animals
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from a different region - both intentionally and unintentionally.
This
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sudden change causes
that
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apply
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not only exotic
species
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,
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apply
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but
also
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local
species
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become
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to become
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extinction
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extinct
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. If
people
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prevent
this
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action from
occuring
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occurring
,
natural
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the natural
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environment remain
comfort
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comfortable
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for all
species
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. We have to face the problem more seriously and
attempt
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attempt to
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refrain other
animals
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from being endangered. In conclusion,
while
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some
people
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state that there is no
resposibility
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responsibility
for
people
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to prevent animal extinction from happening, I believe that
human
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humans
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should take
actions
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action
show examples
to
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against
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it because some causes of it can be seen
due to
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us.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction presents the main issue, but you might strengthen your thesis statement to clearly outline your position and the reasons behind it.
Task Achievement
While your points are relevant, consider providing more specific examples to support your claims. This will help strengthen your argument and enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'human' should be 'humans', 'a increase' should be 'an increase', 'convenienve' should be 'convenience'). Such errors can detract from the overall quality.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance coherence and make your arguments easier to follow.
Content
You have identified a relevant and significant topic, which shows a good understanding of the complexities surrounding animal extinction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, with distinct paragraphs focusing on different aspects of your argument, which aids in readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
What to do next:
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