Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today's world, it is common to see

children

Use synonyms

spending several

hours

Use synonyms

daily on their gadgets.

This

Linking Words

issued

Replace the word

issue

show examples

has attracted both positive and negative sides.

This

Linking Words

essay will give reasons why

this

Linking Words

is happening and negative for young generations. One reason why young people spend many

hours

Use synonyms

on their smartphones is their easy access to social media. Platforms like Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram provide

children

Use synonyms

a way to connect with their peers and share their daily experiences. They can share photos and videos that

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

them a sense of belonging and

loved

Replace the word

love

show examples

This

Linking Words

could be positive in some instances, but it might be harmful to a great extent as

children

Use synonyms

can be exposed to cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and even addiction to social media. Another reason for

this

Linking Words

issued

Replace the word

issue

show examples

is the availability of entertainment options.

Children

Use synonyms

can download games, music, and movies on their phones and spend

hours

Use synonyms

watching, listening, or playing.

This

Linking Words

bad attitude could take

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

away that should be spent on other activities

such

Linking Words

as homework, sports, or socializing with friends.

This

Linking Words

trend is largely negative.

First,

Linking Words

long

hours

Use synonyms

on gadgets reduce physical activity, which can lead to health problems

such

Linking Words

as obesity or poor eyesight.

Second,

Linking Words

excessive screen time often replaces real-life interaction, which is essential for developing communication and social skills. if

children

Use synonyms

are always on their phones, they may struggle to form relationships or express themselves confidently in the real world. In conclusion,

children

Use synonyms

tend to use smartphones for

hours

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the engaging content or playing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is a negative development because it damages their health and limits their social development.

eyyowasapFri May 02 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively presents the topic, but you could clarify your thesis statement to outline your main points more explicitly.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Use more varied vocabulary and grammatical structures to improve the sophistication of your writing.

task achievement

You present a balanced view of the topic by acknowledging both positive and negative aspects, which adds depth to your argument.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples that illustrate your points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this contemporary era, a skillset is more essential than a degree. The debate over whether students should put effort into a single subject or learn various subjects is controversial. Let us view both sides.
7.5
band
Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do we agree?
A certain amount of people think that some types of criminals should not be sent to prison. Instead, violations executed by them could be designated for unpaid community work as amercement. I completely agree with the given statement.
8
band
36.Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, around the world, people can see the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements, and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
With globalization, differences between countries are becoming less evident, and everyone in the world can see the same films, fashion and so on. However, considering cultural exchanges and economic development, I believe that the advantages of this phenomenon exceed its disadvantages.
7.5
band
Many cities around the world are facing the problem of traffic congestion. What are the main causes of this issue, and what solutions can be implemented to address it?"
Nowadays, traffic congestion is considered to be an issue that many regions worldwide struggle with. This essay will analyze the factors that contribute to this problem and propose possible solutions that can be followed to resolve it.
7
band
Your friend has just won a large amount of money in the lottery. She would like your advice as to how to spend it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Congratulate him/her on their win Give practical advice on how to spend the money Advise him/her on benefit/drawbacks associated with large wins
Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for winning 5 million U.S dollars at the “Test Your Luck.” You won’t believe but I think you have been lucky since your childhood. I really felt ‘I on the cloud nine’ after hearing this news.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do we agree?

36.Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, around the world, people can see the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements, and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many cities around the world are facing the problem of traffic congestion. What are the main causes of this issue, and what solutions can be implemented to address it?"