IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Umar

Nowadays,it is likely for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientists and visitors to travel to far environmental areas,
such
Linking Words
 as the South Pole. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 approach are to research new zones and open inventions.
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 are that it ruins
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 ecosystem and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 pollution,
therefore
Linking Words
 don’t outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. One evident benefit is to
analysis
Replace the word
analyse
show examples
 new areas and make innovations. Researchers worldwide investigate remote organic areas
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, it helps people to learn more and better understand
about
Change preposition
apply
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other lives,including
rarely
Change the adverb
rare
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
,which are hunted by other species and
safe
Replace the word
save
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 them,studying
about
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apply
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new varieties of plants and viruses,opening new doors of
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
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. People can
also
Linking Words
 open new discoveries,travel and explore different regions.
For example
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, in 1985
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Brazil started to
examination
Replace the word
examine
show examples
 untouched forests ,called
by
Change preposition
apply
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Amazonka. The governments officially
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
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to
Change preposition
apply
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some
of
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apply
show examples
professional scientists
explore
Fix the infinitive
to explore
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 that forest.
And after
Correct word choice
After
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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 days he took new steps
to
Change preposition
in
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 animal control, since that moment he
open
Wrong verb form
opened
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 10 essential discoveries to
animals
Use synonyms
 which
on
Add a missing verb
were on
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 the verge of extinction. The prime
Use synonyms
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
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 is that researchers and tourists can damage their environment and make dirtier their grounds. Individuals can create pollution in different forms
such
Linking Words
 as air,water,soil and light.
While
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 observing new spaces,
equipment
Add an article
the equipment
show examples
 can break or explode,thereby making some emissions,gazes or several humans can throw away the trash that can be terribly hurtful to that space.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2010 in New Zealand
was discovered
Wrong verb form
,
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 one interesting piece of
Island
Correct article usage
the Island
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,
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was a beautiful.
Moreover
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, there were a huge quantity of
rarely
Change the adverb
rare
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
, after spreading information about that. The governments found valuable oil reserves and
subsequently
Linking Words
 big companies started to take away that supply of oil and
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
, which
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 have any effect on that liquid. Eventually from
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
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 and amazing
Island
Add a comma
Island,
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 it’s changed to
lifeless
Correct article usage
a lifeless
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, and one of the darkest places
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it can give more opportunity to investigate new places and discover
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
 can ensure negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their surroundings and make them more contaminated, that’s why the advantages don’t outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state the main argument in your introduction, preferably with a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages. For instance, clarify whether you believe the advantages do or do not outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. You may want to use clearer transition phrases to connect your ideas more cohesively and ensure a better structure throughout.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples with detailed explanations that are related to your main argument. Include how these examples support your points about advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Good attempt to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic; you show an understanding of the complexity involved.
Task Achievement
Your examples illustrate important points, particularly regarding the impact of human activities on the environment.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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